


October Rust

by jenatwork



Category: Free!
Genre: Blood Donation, Blood Drinking, Illnesses, M/M, Vampire AU, Vampires, Will add tags as I go, our vampires are different, possible bad science, subtle horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:04:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 42,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5027743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenatwork/pseuds/jenatwork
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People living with Advanced Porphyria now make up almost 10% of the population of Japan, and blood donation centres are popping up all over the country to support those afflicted. Nagisa is an O- donor, required to donate blood monthly at a donation centre run by Dr Ryuugazaki.</p><p>Or, a really weird vampire AU that is sort of about vampires but mostly about Reigisa (with added MakoHaru and SouRinTori).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I am fully aware that I have at least two unfinished Free! fics that haven't been updated for months. I keep opening them up, writing a couple of sentences, then thinking, 'this is trash what the hell am I doing?' and closing them again. I haven't forgotten them, though. Eventually, those odd sentences will add up to finished stories.

**Iwatobi Blood Bank  
Donor's Guide**

You're about to do something amazing! Your donation of O- blood is just one small part of a system which helps millions of people across Japan!

Much like standard medical blood transfusions, O- blood can be accepted by all patients. Keeping a well-stocked supply of O- blood means that the estimated 11 million people in Japan living with Advanced Porphyria (AP) can access regular safe transfusions from any transfusion centre in the country.

Because you're one of the 7% of the population identified as having O- blood, your regular monthly donations allow us to treat AP sufferers efficiently and safely – no longer do we run the risks of sufferers being given the wrong blood type, or of donors experiencing needless distress.

**What will happen during my appointment?**

If this is your first donation, then no doubt you're feeling a little anxious about the procedure. Don't worry – regular donors can tell you that giving blood is almost completely painless!

After checking in, we'll take a drop of blood from your finger to help verify that you're actually well enough to give blood today. We take care of our donors, and the last thing we want is to risk damaging your health. If your haemoglobin levels are satisfactory, you'll be moved on to the donation area.

Here, you'll be able to relax in our state-of-the-art chairs while a phlebotomist checks your blood pressure and sterilises the donation point (usually near the crook of your elbow). Then the needle is attached – you may feel a sharp sting or scratch, but this only lasts a second. The needle is attached to a blood bag, and as your donation is collected, you'll be encouraged to do some muscle tension exercises to keep the blood-flow steady.

We collect 470ml of blood for transfusion, plus a 30ml sample for health screening. Should your sample show any indication of blood-borne diseases (including Advanced Porphyria) you will be notified as soon as possible. Your donation will be discarded.

**What happens next?**

Immediately after your donation, you will be moved to our rest area and provided with refreshments. This is more than just a courtesy – eating and drinking will help you to recover quickly, so don't feel guilty about a few cookies or a sugary drink!

Before you leave, return to the reception area so that our staff can confirm your next appointment. Your appointments will be between four and six weeks apart, depending on how busy the centre is.

**About the Centre**

The Iwatobi Blood Bank was the first of its kind in the country, and we are honoured to be pioneers in this life-saving donation system. Our donation team are all experienced, highly trained phlebotomists, and there are always additional medical staff on duty to assist them.

The IBB works in association with local hospitals to ensure that they also receive a supply of O- blood – people with AP can accept transfusions of their own blood type or O- blood, but for other medical transfusions, patients with O- blood cannot accept transfusions of any other blood type. Therefore, it is essential that stocks of O- blood for other transfusions are maintained. We divert 10% of our stock to hospitals to allow them to maintain their stock levels, along with any donations of other blood types they receive themselves.

Advanced Porphyria currently affects around 9% of the population of Japan, more than any other country, as this is believed to be the epicentre of the disease's outbreak. By donating every four weeks, you help to transform the lives of millions of people living with AP, allowing them to lead normal, healthy lives alongside everyone else. In return, you will receive a generous Donor Allowance – if you are not registered for this, talk to our reception staff. You will need to provide your bank details and proof of your address to file your claim. You can also talk to them about the Donor Pension scheme.

_On behalf of the Matsuoka Medical Group, we would like to thank you for your generous donation today._


	2. Nagisa

It was obvious that someone had tried so hard to make the centre look friendly and welcoming. From the plush chairs in the reception area, to the polished chrome letters spelling 'Iwatobi Blood Bank' on the walls, and the desperately smiling staff who greeted Nagisa as he checked in, everything was intended to make him feel at ease. Still, no amount of forced cheer could disguise the harsh smell of anti-sceptic and wintergreen which stung Nagisa's nose, and the fluorescent lights on the ceiling couldn't make up for the complete lack of sunlight. The clock on the wall read 9:15, but that could have been a.m. or p.m. for all anyone could tell inside. Like most public places now, the centre was open around the clock.

Nagisa's 9:20 appointment was technically a morning one, not that it made much difference. He'd just come off a night-shift, via a stop-off at a diner for what was his last meal before bed even though it came off the breakfast menu. He recognised the receptionist from his last visit, although she showed no sign of knowing him. She probably saw hundreds of donors though, and he hadn't been in for a few months. The nurse who took him for his haemoglobin test did recognise him, and asked how his parents were doing. Nagisa managed to force a smile on his face for the conversation, trying not to think too much about how desperate he was to get home and into bed. He assured the nurse that he'd eaten a decent meal before his appointment, going so far as to whine about how the diner always overcooked everything, and she told him about a new place that had opened up down the street and made him promise to try it out.

When Nagisa's first test wasn't quite to her liking, she took a second drop of blood from his finger and used a clean pipette to drop it into the little vial like before. This time, the drop sank quickly, and she gave a thin-lipped smile and nodded before making notes on his chart. Nagisa didn't hide his sigh of relief; missing his donation date would mean a delay in his donor allowance coming through, and he already had plans for his payment.

She shepherded Nagisa and his belongings out into the open-plan donation ward, finding an empty chair and helping him to hop up into it. Already there were at least a dozen other donors on the ward, and phlebotomists in blue and white scrubs flitting around, tending to their charges or carrying stacks of patient charts. Everyone looked busy, and it occurred to Nagisa that any conversations he could hear were all work-related. Was everyone so busy that they couldn't stop to chat, or were the staff not allowed to stop when they were on duty?

It left Nagisa focusing on the tinny sound of a local radio station playing over speakers set high on the ward's walls, as he waited for his phlebotomist to arrive. The chair he'd been left in was one of those weird curved plastic deals, supposedly designed to be comfortable even as it was lowered into its reclining position, but it was also designed for someone taller than Nagisa, causing it to curve his spine awkwardly. He wriggled around, but short of asking for a booster cushion, there was no way he'd ever get comfy in it, so he resigned himself to the weird position, drumming his heels on the base of the chair and sighing loudly.

He was just beginning to wonder if they'd forgotten about him, when one of the phlebotomists looked over at him from the station at the end of the ward. His smile was the first genuine one that Nagisa had seen since his arrival, and Nagisa couldn't help returning it.

The man headed over, glancing at the chart in his hand.

“Good morning, Hazuki-kun. My name's Makoto, I'll be taking your donation today.” His voice was soft, and as he went through the customary questions to verify Nagisa's identity and check his general health, Nagisa found himself hardly caring anymore about the uncomfortable chair, or even the fact that the guy was about to drain him of a pint of blood.

“According to your chart,” Makoto continued as he wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Nagisa's bicep, “you just turned eighteen. Is this your first donation?”

“No, I started at sixteen,” Nagisa explained. He was watching Makoto secure the cuff, and trying to regulate his breathing. The tightness of the cuff as it inflated always freaked him out. 

“An early starter?” Makoto's hands stilled for a second, and when he spoke again, his voice was oddly tight, and quieter than before. “So this is nothing new for you, I suppose.” He kept his eyes on the blood pressure monitor.

Having sat for a good few minutes, Nagisa could feel fatigue setting in. His shift had been a particularly busy one, with only fifteen minutes for a break, and now that he'd finally stopped moving he was practically ready to fall asleep. He tried to stifle a yawn before he spoke.

“My last donation was six months ago, but I've been coming here with my father for years. He's a donor too.” He hoped to reassure Makoto that he wasn't at all nervous about donating, but somehow Makoto didn't seem placated by his words. “It doesn't hurt. It's no big deal. The only painful thing is this chair!” He wriggled again for emphasis, and fortunately Makoto's smile returned at his joke.

“Yeah, they're not much fun if you're tall either.” And sure enough, when he reached over to remove the blood pressure cuff, Nagisa realised that Makoto must have been at least a foot taller than him. He rested one big hand on Nagisa's shoulder as he carefully adjusted the chair, tipping it and Nagisa backwards until he was laying almost horizontal.

“Do you donate?” he asked, rubbing at his arm to relieve the tingles that came with the sudden lack of pressure from the cuff. Makoto returned with a steri-wipe, gently moving Nagisa's right hand so he could begin cleaning his left arm.

“No, but they make us sit in a chair when we're training so we can learn how to adjust them.”

He wrapped a rubber tourniquet around Nagisa's upper arm and began prodding in search of a vein.

“You have good muscle-tone,” Makoto commented with a smile. “Makes it easier to find a vein.” Somehow Nagisa couldn't help blushing at the compliment, and he wished he wasn't laying on his back so that he could turn his face away from Makoto. “Do you go to the gym or play sports or something?”

“Nah. I used to swim when I was in school, and now my job keeps me fairly active. Lots of heavy lifting, you know?”

“That'll do it,” Makoto agreed. By now he had the needle ready, and Nagisa began taking deep breaths in readiness for its insertion. Honestly, the pin-prick for the haemoglobin test was more painful than this, but the anticipation was still awkward, and he realised only after Makoto let go of the needle that he'd been holding himself completely stiff. As he let out a long, slow breath and relaxed into the chair, Makoto handed him a sponge ball.

“If you squeeze the ball, or roll it around in your hand, it'll keep the blood flowing. That generally makes the donation process a bit quicker. After all, no one wants to be in here any longer than necessary, right?”

Nagisa squeezed the ball; it too was probably meant for someone bigger than him, as his fingers didn't wrap all the way around it.

“Well, it's not like I have anything else lined up after this. Just home, and bed.”

“You work nights?” Glancing around, Nagisa could see that most other donors had been left on their own while they bled. Each blood bag was on a scale, set to let out a beep when they were almost full so that the phlebotomists could return and detach them. He wondered if Makoto would get into trouble for sticking around while his bag was being filled.

“Yeah, at the supermarket. Not very glamorous, but - “

“Good money, right?” Makoto's grin was lop-sided now, as if sharing some conspiracy. “Night shifts in some places are busier than days now.”

“The children of the night, what beautiful wages they pay!” Nagisa chuckled at his own joke, and winked at Makoto, who hid his laugh behind a hand.

Before he could say anything more, Makoto was called away to deal with a donor whose scale was beeping. Nagisa watched him remove the patient's needle and stick labels on the blood bag and sample tube, before a porter removed them for transportation from the ward. When Nagisa's own scale beeped a warning, Makoto handed his patient over to a nurse in darker blue scrubs so that he could return to Nagisa.

“You're nearly done,” Makoto explained. “Is someone coming to collect you after you're done?”

“No. I don't live too far away, so once I've had my juice and cookies, I'm walking home.” He watched Makoto's brow furrow in concern. “Really, I'm practically just around the corner. I'll be fine.”

Makoto pursed his lips, but didn't argue. He stayed silent as he watched Nagisa's scale tipping back and forth, its little motor humming quietly, until it beeped again. He removed the needle from Nagisa's arm and encouraged him to press a cotton swab against it while Makoto discarded the sharp and dealt with the bag and tubing. Next, he replaced the cotton with a white band-aid, and taped a pressure roll over it.

“Leave the roll on for at least half an hour,” Makoto told him. “The tape hurts when you take it off, but don't try to use warm water to get it off – you have to keep the band-aid on for at least six hours, so don't let it get wet.” When everything else was dealt with, he checked a timer that had been running on the workstation by Nagisa's chair. “Think you're ready to sit up now?”

Nagisa nodded, then regretted it as Makoto swung the chair back upright and his head swam for a moment. He blinked a few times and took a deep breath, grateful when he felt no sense of nausea or dizziness.

“If you feel up to moving, we can take you to the rest area.”

“And then I get cookies, right?” Nagisa grinned up at him. He was bone-tired, but he could drag his ass across the room for cookies, at least.

With Makoto's hands on his arm for support, he slid out of the chair and shuffled across the ward. Only when he reached the door did he realise he hadn't picked up his bag and jacket, but when he turned, there was a porter carrying his stuff, just a few paces behind Makoto. Uncomplaining, Nagisa let himself be led down the corridor to the rest area, where other donors were sitting in comfy chairs sipping coffee and reading old magazines. He flopped into an empty chair, finding it so much nicer than the one on the ward, and smiled gratefully when Makoto brought him a juice-box and a Kit-kat.

“What, are you a waiter too?” he asked. The porter set his belongings down by his chair and left without a word. Makoto just grinned. “Seriously, I don't mind the company, but don't you have other donors waiting?”

“I'm due a break,” Makoto explained, sitting in the next chair. “I've been on shift since five this morning.” Nagisa raised his eyebrows and whistled.

“You started work at five in the morning?”

“There's no such thing as a nine-to-five anymore, you should know that.”

“Yeah, but you must have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to get here on time!” Nagisa shook his head in disbelief. “No way I could do that.”

“You get used to it.”

Nagisa broke off one piece of his chocolate and offered it to Makoto, who accepted it with a surprised smile.

“So...my donation,” Nagisa began around a mouth full of food. “Where will it go now?”

Makoto pulled a steri-wipe from his pocket, ripped open the packet and wiped chocolate from his hands.

“Our transfusion rooms are downstairs,” he explained. “Of course, there's a one-in-ten chance it'll get sent on to the hospital for medical transfusions, but most likely it'll get used here.”

“One in ten?” Nagisa thought back to the ward, and tried to remember how many people had been there besides himself. “I don't like those odds.”

“Hey, that's what the centre's for,” Makoto pointed out. “We mostly deal with Advanced Porphyria cases.”

“I know, but it's never going to stop being weird.” Nagisa dropped his voice; even now, talking about AP in public could result in angry arguments with anyone who had strong opinions on the subject. “Thinking about some stranger...you know...drinking my blood.”

He watched Makoto's face get thoughtful for a few seconds.

“You know, they don't actually drink it, not anymore. When we call it a transfusion centre, we're being honest. IV drips and beds and everything. It looks just like a hospital ward.” He offered Nagisa a sympathetic look, then smiled again. “Besides, one-in-ten odds aren't so bad. Your blood could, I don't know...save somebody's life after a traffic accident. And Dr Ryuugazaki's trying to petition the board to increase the transported stocks to twenty percent.”

“Dr Ryuugazaki?” Nagisa finished off his chocolate and washed it down with a slurp of orange juice.

“Ah. He runs the IBB,” Makoto explained, as if only just realised Nagisa wouldn't have a clue what he was talking about. “He's my boss.” Apparently deciding he probably shouldn't be talking about work to a donor, Makoto began fiddling with the watch pinned to his breast pocket, before standing suddenly and reminding Nagisa just how tall he actually was.

“I'll be alright from here if you have to go,” Nagisa offered, craning his neck to look up at Makoto's face. Although he definitely would prefer Makoto's company, he didn't want to keep the guy from his break. He reached over for his bag and pushed himself to his feet. “See, I'm -" A wave of dizziness hit him from nowhere, and he plopped back down into the chair.

“Oh, you're not going anywhere,” Makoto scolded, although there was nothing harsh about his words. He dropped to a crouch by Nagisa's chair, waving to one of the staff and gesturing for them to bring him something from the refreshment station. They quickly brought over another box of juice and a packet of cookies, which Makoto tore open for him. “Do you feel faint?” he asked, checking Nagisa's face for signs of distress.

“I'm fine, really,” Nagisa insisted. “Just stood up too quickly. Really, I can go home. You shouldn't miss your break because of me.”

“Hey, if the doctor finds out I let a donor out of here before they were ready, then I'm in for it!” Makoto kept smiling as he spoke, as if to reassure Nagisa that he wasn't serious, but Nagisa couldn't bear the thought of Makoto getting into trouble because of him.

“Fine, I'll eat more cookies,” he huffed, as if it was a chore, before flashing Makoto a smile and stuffing an entire cookie into his mouth all at once. Makoto squeaked in surprise, a sound that Nagisa never expected to hear from a grown man, then suddenly looked over Nagisa's shoulder at something he couldn't see.

“Oh, speak of the devil.” He rose to his feet again to greet someone approaching Nagisa's chair. “Dr Ryuugazaki!”

When Nagisa looked around, he wondered at first who Makoto was talking to. The only person he could see was a young man around Makoto's age. He wore a doctor's white coat over his expensive-looking clothes, but there was no way he could be Makoto's boss.

“Tachibana-san, is everything alright?” He glanced down at Nagisa, as if he'd seen Nagisa's earlier fall.

“Fine, doctor,” Makoto insisted. “Hazuki-kun was just feeling a little light-headed after his donation. I wanted to make sure he was okay before he left.”

“Of course,” the doctor said, and he pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose before turning his attention to Nagisa.

“Hazuki Nagisa, I presume?”

“Have we met?” Nagisa anxiously wiped at his mouth with the back of one hand, hoping he wasn't covered in cookie crumbs.

“Not properly,” the doctor replied, without offering further explanation.

“Then are you psychic or something?” He heard Makoto gasp, but decided he hadn't said anything especially rude. “I mean, you know my name and all.”

“I pay careful attention to my donors' records, Hazuki-kun. You were one of our early-starters, and we don't get many of those, so you're rather memorable, even if we haven't actually met.” Rei crossed his arms, which caused his necktie to bunch up awkwardly and curve out from his shirt-front. Nagisa tried to hold back a giggle. “Tachibana-san, have you had your break yet? You've been working since five.”

“Ah, no, not yet,” Makoto answered with a sheepish laugh. “I was just about to.”

“Good. The last thing I want is one of my staff keeling over from exhaustion!” He laughed as if he'd made some hilarious joke. Then, when no one joined in, he fiddled with his glasses some more.

“I will, doctor. I'll just make sure Hazuki-kun is all set, then I'll go straight to the break room.” Nagisa nodded in agreement, and took a long drink from his second juice-box to show that he was working hard on recovering.

Seemingly satisfied, Dr Ryuugazaki moved off, leaving the rest area and heading down the corridor.

“Wow,” Nagisa exclaimed as he stood, more carefully this time. “He's...”

“A little odd?”

“Funny,” he countered. “How do you stand to work with him?” He slipped his jacket back on and picked up his bag, letting Makoto take his arm again as they made their way out towards the front desk.

“He's actually pretty good to work with, once you get used to him,” Makoto explained. “He really does seem to care about the donors. Does everything by the book, so as long as we do too, there's no problems.”

At the desk, Makoto helped the receptionist issue Nagisa a new donor ID card to replace his under-18 one, along with a medic-alert bracelet.

“If ever you need emergency hospital treatment, if you have this on then they'll bump you up the wait list and stuff,” Makoto began. Nagisa nodded and held up a hand.

“I know. My dad's a donor, remember?”

“Oh, sure.” Makoto helped Nagisa fit the bracelet on to his slim wrist, making sure it was secure. “I'm guessing you're already registered for your allowance if you've donated before?” Again, Nagisa nodded. “In that case, we just need to get your next appointment set up.” He leaned over the desk and the receptionist pointed to something on her computer monitor. “Looks like we have a free slot at the same time, four weeks from today. Does that suit you?”

“Sure.” Nagisa was busy stuffing his wallet and old ID card into his bag.

“I can print you an appointment card,” the receptionist offered, “or there's an app to track your appointments if you prefer.”

“They usually send out text message reminders too,” Makoto added.

“That'll be fine,” Nagisa answered. “I'd just lose the card. A text message will be enough.” He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. “Thanks for your help today,” he said to Makoto, who smiled his big, honest smile again.

“No problem, Hazuki-kun. I look forward to seeing you again.”

“Call me Nagisa?” he said as he began to head for the door, throwing a wave at Makoto.

“Okay, sure. See you soon, Nagisa-kun.”

“See you soon, Mako-chan!” He was out the door before Makoto could protest at the nickname. As he walked home, Nagisa realised it was the first time he'd left the IBB with a smile on his face.


	3. Nagisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more world-building; some insight into Nagisa's home life; awkwardest double-date ever.

Friday night shifts were the worst. Nagisa had been on the clock since six, just in time to handle the evening rush from day-workers heading home for the weekend. He'd squeezed in a quick food break before the night-workers started trickling in on what was, for them, technically Saturday morning. Pale faces filled the aisles, most shoppers out alone rather than in couples or families. There was less chatter, and Nagisa sometimes tried to fill the quiet by singing along with the music playing over the sound system. Some folk appreciated his smiles and his noise – mostly, he figured, the ones his grandparents still referred to as 'human' or 'real people'. But mostly, Friday night shifts were about stacking shelves ready for the weekend and trying to keep the place as tidy as possible in the wake of the busiest intervals.

At around 11.30, Nagisa was called on to help a group of customers around his own age. Probably students from the local college, he reasoned; fashionably dressed and enquiring about the location of snack foods and alcohol. Nagisa didn't bother warning them that they'd probably get turned away from the registers for being under-age. As much as he might have envied them, he couldn't bring himself to be bitter enough to spoil someone else's fun.

He made idle conversation with one of them, who still carried her book-bag with her. She was studying History, she told him, with the intention of becoming a teacher herself, and her only regret about the course was the weight of the text books she had to carry around. Nagisa laughed with her and helped her carry a couple of bottles of cheap wine to the cash register before leaving her to her friends. He spent the rest of his shift in the stockroom, wondering what he might be doing right now if he was in college himself. 

Perhaps he'd have his own apartment and not have to worry about washing anyone else's dishes at the end of the day. Maybe he'd share with someone – two of his sisters were currently sharing an apartment in Chiba, in their first and third years of medical school, and apparently had gone from constantly arguing the way they did at home to being practically best friends now that they were living together. Kamiko, the eldest, had lived alone while she was studying, but had recently moved into a small place with her fiancé, and Nagisa had been out to visit them once. They'd put a lot of work into turning the tiny rented apartment into something cosy and cute, filling it with knick-knacks from home and pictures of the family and Kamiko's handmade blankets and cushions and rugs. On the train back home after his visit, Nagisa had mentally decorated his own perfect apartment, thinking how grown-up it would be compared to his bedroom with posters tacked up on the walls and childhood toys still on the shelves.

It was still dark when he clocked out, and part of him wanted to hang around until the sun came up. Of course, statistically, it was safe enough to walk the half-a-mile home in the dark, but his grandparents had told him enough horror stories that doing so still unnerved him. In the end, though, tiredness won over fear, and he collected his things from his locker, purchased a few groceries on his way out, and set off home.

When he reached the genkan, he paused to straighten up the shoes his mother had kicked off when she got home from work, and retrieved his slippers from where he'd left them askew the night before, in his hurry to make it to work on time. The groceries were put away in the kitchen, and Nagisa spent a few minutes washing dishes before putting the kettle on to boil. It was tempting just to head straight to bed without eating, but he had a donation appointment in twelve hours and knew from experience that skipping meals before a visit was not a good idea. So he settled for a cup of instant ramen, eaten in sporadic mouthfuls in his bedroom as he undressed. He was definitely too tired for a shower, and certainly couldn't be bothered to put any of the overflowing laundry pile into the washing machine. Within thirty minutes of getting home, Nagisa was in bed with the covers pulled up right to his forehead, practically dead to the world.

It was dark once again when he set off to the Iwatobi Blood Bank, and Nagisa spent the journey making plans for his next day off. It'd be great if he could get two days off together – he'd gladly screw up his sleep schedule for the chance to have a few hours outdoors in the middle of the day. He could take a walk to the beach – it was too late in the year to swim outdoors, but it'd be nice to sit on the sand and watch the waves. Or he could sit in a coffee shop and drink cocoa and listen to day-time chatter from families and students and people who kept regular hours and didn't know what it was like to only ever see the sun when it was low on the horizon.

Of course, his plans wouldn't come to anything. His next day off was the same day as his dad's healthcare visit, so he'd be cleaning and waiting around the house until the healthcare worker arrived. Maybe if the visit didn't last too long, he'd be able to get a couple of hours to himself afterwards, he mused.

His appointment was scheduled for seven, and he expected to be out before eight, but his shift didn't start until ten tonight. Nagisa had already decided he wouldn't go back home in between; either he'd end up helping to clean up after his parents' evening meal, or else he'd fall asleep in the living room and risk being late to work. He'd stowed some magazines in his bag and planned to while away the time in the diner where he sometimes ate after work, but couldn't bring himself to be excited about the small window of free time.

Inside the IBB, it was impossible to tell the difference between evening and morning. Nagisa even recognised a few staff from his usual morning visits. He half-hoped Makoto would be the one taking his donation again – he was usually around for Nagisa's appointments and the two would talk for a while even if Makoto wasn't the one taking care of him. But he figured if Makoto was usually there in the morning then he'd probably finished his shift ages ago.

After checking in and making it through the haemoglobin test, Nagisa was moved to the ward and helped up into a vacant chair. His phlebotomist was a quiet middle-aged man with a neat goatee, who started Nagisa's donation quickly and efficiently. He didn't give Nagisa anything to squeeze while he bled; just instructed him to clench and unclench his fist to keep the blood moving, and after a few minutes Nagisa was certain his fingers were going to cramp up. Still, he kept going, not wanting to drag the process out any longer. There was no one else waiting to be seen, so the phlebotomist stayed by Nagisa's chair, making notes on a couple of patient charts and occasionally checking the progress of Nagisa's bag. Nagisa spent the first couple of minutes studying the ward, taking note of donors he vaguely recognised, and examining the artwork on the walls. Unlike the posters and signs in the corridors and rest area, the paintings lining the walls were rather soothing; abstract pieces in calming blues and greens. He stared for a while at the one closest to his chair. He could make out individual brush strokes in the nearest corner, and tried to work out if it was meant to be sea or sky or maybe both.

“Say, is Makoto working today?” Nagisa asked when the quiet became unbearable. The man looked a little surprised at Nagisa's question, but didn't seem put out by it.

“He was in earlier. I think he clocked out, though.”

Nagisa sighed and went back to focusing on clenching his fist, willing the blood to move faster. He tried to distract himself for a while by watching the other donors, but there wasn't much excitement in a room full of people laying in chairs. He did, however, catch a glimpse of Dr Ryuugazaki at the work-station by the ward door. Just like Makoto, Dr Ryuugazaki was usually around during Nagisa's morning visits, so he was a little surprised to see him there so late in the day. He considered asking the phlebotomist about it, but before he could work out the least inappropriate way to ask the guy if his boss lived at the centre or something, a cheery voice called out his name.

“Nagisa-kun, you're here late!” From his prone position in the chair, it was tough to see properly, but if he twisted his head he could just see Makoto heading towards his chair, wearing his usual blue and white scrubs but without his name-badge and watch.

“Mako-chan!” Nagisa ignored the way his phlebotomist's eyebrows shot up at the nickname, and instead waved his free hand at Makoto. “I had some stuff to do at home today, so I rescheduled. I thought for sure you'd have left by now. You're here late today.”

“It's been a crazy day,” Makoto told him, nodding a greeting at the older man. “I should have clocked out at six, but I've only just finished. Three staff from the day-shift all called in sick. Plus the elementary school brought a class in for a visit this afternoon and I had to show them around, and we ended up running behind with our appointments – the kids had so many questions, I just couldn't get away!” It was hard to believe, Nagisa thought – Makoto looked as cheerful as he usually did first thing in the mornings. Some people just handled long working hours better than he did, he supposed. “We were so busy, Dr Ryuugazaki even came out and took a few patients himself!”

Nagisa's phlebotomist was busy removing the needle and dressing the wound – Nagisa helped hold the pressure roll in place while he taped it on, but kept his attention mostly on Makoto.

“I thought I saw him earlier. Does that guy ever leave?”

“He does work long hours,” Makoto conceded. “He's very dedicated.”

“Doesn't he have a life?” Nagisa chuckled. “Me, I can't wait to leave work after a shift. Once I've clocked out, you can't see me for dust.”

“Are you working tonight?” Makoto helped to raise Nagisa's chair back to its upright position, leaving Nagisa relieved that he could look Makoto in the eye at last instead of looking up his nose.

“I don't start until ten.”

Makoto looked over to the big digital clock on the wall by the work-station.

“Wow, that's ages away. Are you going back home first?” Nagisa shook his head, then immediately regretted it as a brief wave of dizziness washed over him.

“Nah, not much point. There's a diner between here and work that I sometimes go to, so I thought I'd hang out there for a while until my shift starts. Are you heading home?”

Makoto also shook his head, smiling as he did.

“I'm meeting someone, then I think we're going for coffee too.” Makoto bit his lower lip, looking as if he was trying to make a decision about something. “It's dark out; maybe it's not such a good idea for you to be out alone at this time. Do you want some company while you're hanging around?”

“Yes!” Nagisa surprised himself with his quick answer, then lowered his eyes and hoped he didn't look too embarrassed. The only time he got to talk to people anywhere near his own age was at work, and conversations about where to find the toothpaste or how much a pack of tofu cost weren't exactly his idea of a fun time. “I mean, if it's not weird for you hanging out with a patient. I don't mind being out at night, but it'd be nice to talk to someone while I'm waiting for my shift to start.”

Makoto helped Nagisa out of his chair and carried his belongings as Nagisa made his way to the rest area. Nagisa tried to remind Makoto that he was technically off the clock and didn't have to look after him, but Makoto insisted, fetching him a carton of apple juice and Nagisa's favourite flavour Kit-Kat.

“My friend hasn't arrived yet, so I'm hanging around waiting for him anyway. It's no trouble.”

When Nagisa felt up to moving again, the two of them walked back to the reception area, just as the door opened and a young man around Makoto's age walked in. He ignored the receptionist's cheery greeting, heading straight for Makoto.

“Haru-chan,” Makoto said with a smile, and Nagisa immediately noticed the way his voice melted from its usual light friendliness to something far warmer. “Haru, this is Nagisa.”

“Nice to meet you, Haru-chan!” Nagisa lifted an arm, intending to shake Haru's hand, but Haru didn't budge an inch, so he turned it into a wave instead. All Haru did do was raise an eyebrow and glare at Makoto, mouthing, 'Haru-chan?” But Makoto gave him a look that Nagisa interpreted as 'play nice', until Haru looked back at him and muttered, “Nice to meet you too.”

“Do you mind if Nagisa joins us for coffee? He's hanging around until he has to go to work and it wouldn't be good to leave him on his own in town at this time.” Makoto took a small step closer to Haru as he spoke, and Nagisa figured his body-language was trying to impress upon Haru that disagreeing was not an option.

Haru lowered his eyes to the ground for a couple of seconds before replying, “Sure, whatever.” Nagisa didn't want to feel insulted by his frostiness; after all, if Haru was important enough to make Makoto's voice go all soft and special like it had, then Nagisa figured he had to be a good person really. He decided that, by the time he left for work, he'd make friends with Haru.

“Tachibana-san,” called a voice from behind them, Makoto and Nagisa both spun around to see Dr Ryuugazaki heading their way. “You're still here? I thought your shift finished at six.” The doctor checked his wristwatch, as if he might be mistaken about the time.

“I'm just heading out now, doctor. Things got a bit hectic this afternoon, and I didn't want to leave until we'd done a full hand-over to the evening team.”

At this, the doctor smiled and slipped his hands into the pockets of his white coat.

“I know you're dedicated, Tachibana-san, and that's to be commended. But still, you should head home now. Your free time is every bit as important as your time at work. You don't want to burn out before you turn thirty!” He laughed his odd laugh, but only Makoto made any attempt to return it.

“What about you, Dr Ryuugazaki?” Nagisa asked. “You're always here when I'm here in the mornings, and now you're still here at nearly eight o'clock at night! Do you live here or something?”

It was comical to watch the doctor's face shift through the stages of processing Nagisa's words. He tried counting how many times the doctor's mouth opened and closed as he tried to speak, but soon lost count. Eventually, Dr Ryuugazaki hid his face behind a hand as he adjusted his glasses.

“I work long hours, true, but I'm about to leave for the day myself. It's my duty to ensure the smooth running of the IBB, and I am not one to shirk my duties, Hazuki-san.”

“You're finished?” Nagisa replied, ignoring most of what the doctor had said. “What are you doing for the rest of the evening?” Beside him, Haru shuffled his feet, apparently eager to leave. Nagisa had been ready to go too, but teasing the doctor was proving to be too much fun.

“I. um...That is, I don't have any social plans. I was, well, planning to do a little reading before bed. I'm enjoying a rather good book about the history of European mythology, and, um...”

“We're going for coffee,” Nagisa said when the doctor's voiced trailed off. “You should come with us!”

“You have been here a long time today, doctor,” Makoto added when Dr Ryuugazaki looked about to splutter some more. “A break away from work might do you good. You're welcome to join us.”

A snort from behind Makoto did not go unnoticed.

“Haruka-san. It's good to see you again.” The doctor offered Haru a weak smile, which was not returned.

“So we're going, then?” Nagisa interjected. Something had happened to make things suddenly tense, and he didn't know what, but he was adamant that it wouldn't spoil his evening.

“I never said - ” the doctor began, but Nagisa cut him off.

“We'll wait here if you need to fetch anything from your office.” He leaned against the reception desk to show that he wasn't going anywhere.

“We'll wait,” Makoto agreed. Haru had nothing to say on the matter, but two against one was still enough to see the doctor's shoulders slump in defeat.

Five minutes later the four of them were headed out into the chilly October night, Nagisa leading the way to the diner. This was certainly not how he'd planned to spend his free time before work, but suddenly his evening had turned out to be far more interesting than he could have hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me about Reigisa on tumblr - meganejen.tumblr.com


	4. Nagisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some vampire history; Nagisa gets to know Makoto and Dr Ryuugazaki a little better.

It helped that the diner was busy; their conversation had quickly turned loud and intense. Apparently Dr Ryuugazaki could talk for days when given a subject that interested him, and the IBB seemed to be his favourite subject of all.

Currently he was explaining to Nagisa how he had recently increased the efficiency of the donor ward by reducing shift lengths and taking on more staff.

“Everyone is more energised!” he enthused, ignoring the cup of coffee in front of him which had long since gone cold. “When you're not worried about making it through a ten-hour shift, you can concentrate better. No one gets worn out, and as they say, many hands make light work! Now donors never have to wait longer than five weeks between donations, whereas in the past we often struggled to see people every six weeks.”

Honestly, Nagisa had stopped trying to keep up with the doctor's many facts and figures concerning the IBB's administration. He was far more interested in watching the way the doctor's face lit up as he spoke (even more so whenever Makoto complimented his work) and the way his gestures became bigger and bolder the more he delved into his subject. It was almost as if the more worked up he got, the more relaxed he became in their company. Nagisa decided it must be exciting to have a job that he genuinely cared about. He wondered if Kamiko felt the same about her work. She didn't talk much about it, so he guessed not.

“I can't believe you do so much!” Nagisa mused when Dr Ryuugazaki eventually stopped for a breather. “You seem so young to be in charge of something as important as the IBB. I mean, you look about the same age as Mako-chan.”

From the way that Dr Ryuugazaki's expression shifted, Nagisa wondered if he'd said something wrong. Beside him, he sensed Makoto shifting awkwardly in his chair.

“Well,” the doctor began, fiddling with his glasses, “I suppose I am a little further on in my career than my med school peers. The truth is, I had what you might call a little 'leg up'.” Nagisa made a face that said, 'tell me more' and tried to ignore the irritated noise from Haruka. “I've known the Matsuoka family for some time, you see. When Matsuoka Rin inherited control of the MMG, he consulted me on how the IBB could be more instrumental in assisting the AP community – back then, it was a regular medical blood donation centre, operating from a much smaller building, and security was a real problem. Rin-san decided that I would be the best person to take on the centre's administration.” Nagisa switched his expression from intrigued to impressed. “I must say, I didn't agree with him at the time, but the numbers are there. Efficiency and output are increasing, and we haven't had any security issues for several years!”

“Because the vampires just walk in like everyone else and buy as much blood as they want.”

It was Haruka's first real contribution to the conversation, and the silence that fell over their table seemed to extend several metres outwards.

\Dr Ryuugazaki fidgeted with his shirt cuffs for a moment before speaking to Haruka in a much quieter voice than before.

“Haruka-san, we don't use the term 'vampire' anymore.”

“Maybe you don't.”

“People living with Advanced Porphyria are capable of living almost completely normal lives now, and that's thanks in no small part to the donor system implemented by the IBB.”

“Because vamps had it so hard before, with the not ageing, and not eating, and the increased strength and everything.” When Nagisa looked, Haruka was keeping his gaze fixed on the table. His face looked flushed and he was breathing heavily, as if those three sentences had worn him out. Next to him, Makoto was rubbing the back of his neck, looking embarrassed.

“People with AP do eat,” the doctor corrected, quiet but firm. “Not as frequently as you might, true, but they still rely on calorific energy. And you should know that increased strength is a misconception. AP has a detrimental effect on the brain which causes sufferers to believe that they are not in pain when they exert themselves. There have been numerous cases of AP sufferers damaging muscles and ligaments when lifting objects too heavy for them.”

“Objects like dead bodies?”

The doctor looked positively furious, but Nagisa cut off any outburst by asking, “What about the not ageing thing? That's real, right?”

At that, Dr Ryuugazaki's expression softened a little, and he turned to face Nagisa.

“That one is actually quite fascinating. It's true that Advanced Porphyria impedes the physical ageing process. We don't expect that sufferers would truly live forever as folklore would have us believe, but we haven't yet had time to determine just how long people with AP can expect to live. It's possibly that sufferers have the same life expectancy as haemo-typical people, just without the external signs of ageing. Of course, various cosmetic pharmaceutical agencies have investigated the possibility of recreating the effects in individuals without AP, but with no real success.”

“No,” Haru conceded. “They just made more vamps.”

Dr Ryuugazaki removed his glasses and began polishing them with a handkerchief from his pocket.

“I believe it's time for me to retire for the evening,” he announced, eyes fixed on his hands. “Hazuki-kun, it has been enjoyable getting to know you. I hope to see you again at your next donation.” He put his glasses back on, then stood and began fastening his jacket. “Tachibana-san, I'll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Uh, sure,” Makoto answered, trying to smile. “See you tomorrow.”

The doctor left without another word. Nagisa looked to Makoto and Haruka for an explanation, but held back when he saw Makoto lay a hand over Haru's on the table-top. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Haruka pushed his chair back and stood.

“I'm going to the bathroom,” he muttered. Nagisa and Makoto watched until he was through the door.

“Sorry about that,” Makoto told him, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Don't be,” he replied. “Obviously there's some history there that I don't know about.”

He watched as Makoto's face shifted through numerous expressions as though he was trying to make up his mind about something.

“Haru's grandmother was... well, they call it 'drained' now, because it hardly ever happens anymore. He still remembers how things used to be before the donor system.”

“Wow. Yeah, that'd be enough to make anyone hate APs.” Nagisa tried to remember if he'd ever heard of anyone he knew being killed by APs, but stories like that were mostly in newspapers or on TV now – since people with AP were supposed to be as much a part of society as everyone else now, there was pressure from within their own community to abide by the law. After all, if APs wanted to be recognised and accepted, then they had to recognise that draining a victim was still murder, and the perpetrator could be tracked and punished just as easily as any other criminal.

“That's not the half of it,” Makoto told him. Nagisa looked up in surprise, but before he could ask for more details, Haruka returned to the table and sat down with a sigh. After a few seconds of glaring at Nagisa, Haru turned towards Makoto.

“How much did you tell him?”

Makoto spluttered, then hid his guilt by taking a long drink of his hot chocolate before reaching over to take Haru's hand in his own.

“Just about Grandma Nanase. Nothing else.”

Nagisa watched as the two of them had some sort of silent conversation; Makoto seemed to be asking permission for something, because Haru eventually rolled his eyes and said, “Go ahead.”

Makoto squeezed his hand and offered him a reassuring smile before turning back to Nagisa.

“Haru was at the Samezuka Farm.”

Everyone knew about Samezuka. Not just everyone in Iwatobi; practically everyone in the country. Some had referred to it as a precursor to the IBB; supposedly a boarding school with students from elementary to high school age, at some point its head teacher and several other faculty members had contracted AP, and had over time begun using the students as a food source. Students whose parents rarely contacted them or the school became easy targets for forced bleeding. Being children, and being away from their families, they had been convinced that medical blood donations were nothing out of the ordinary, and by the time the whole thing made the news, some students were being bled almost daily. The school had been dubbed the Samezuka Farm not just for the way the forced donations had become so much like a production line, but also for the way the children, when they were discovered, had become almost as docile as dairy cattle. Images of pale-skinned, blank-eyed children had filled the national newspapers (and many people's nightmares) for months after the school was closed down.

Nagisa tried to picture Haru as a boy; a small, withdrawn, sickly-looking boy like the ones he'd seen pictures of in History class. It made him feel sick, and he had to scrunch up his eyes and breathe deeply until the nausea passed.

“But Samezuka was years ago,” he countered.

“I was nine when it closed down,” Haru told him.

“Haru's parents have always travelled for work,” Makoto added. “Boarding school was an obvious choice for them at the time. When it closed, Haru went to live with his grandmother. But then she died when Haru was fifteen. Since Haru lived so close to my family, and because he got the settlement from the Samezuka case, his parents decided he'd be able to continue living in his grandmother's house.”

All Nagisa could do was look at Haruka in disbelief. He wanted to hug Haru – for someone so young to have gone through so much! - but he knew Haru wouldn't want that right then. Instead, he breathed “Haru-chan...” and let Makoto continue holding Haru's hand.

Nagisa wanted to say something to break the awful silence, but struggled to think of anything that didn't sound trite in the wake of what he'd just heard. Eventually, he settled for, “Mako-chan, is that why you decided to work at the IBB? To look after donors?”

Makoto gave a sad little smile before he answered.

“In part. I also have two younger siblings – they're both O-.” Nagisa's eyes widened as he realised he'd probably just made things worse. “They both have this to come. I want to be there to make sure everything's safe for them when they eventually have to donate. It won't be for a few more years yet – they only just started high school – but it's going to be a big part of their lives. That's why I appreciate what Dr Ryuugazaki does at the IBB. Everything's above board, and he seems to care about the donors, and the staff.”

Haru snorted again and took his hand away from Makoto's.

“You think Dr Ryuugazaki's wrong for helping like he does?” Nagisa asked, hoping he wouldn't upset Haruka any further.

“He's not helping,” Haruka answered. “Whether it's forced or coerced, bleeding people to feed vamps will never be right.”

“You really hate him, huh?” Nagisa fiddled with the teaspoon by his cup, almost wishing he'd never invited the doctor to join them for coffee.

“I don't hate him.”

When Nagisa turned a confused look towards Makoto, the young man rested both elbows on the table and leaned forward to explain.

“Dr Ryuugazaki's mother was one of the lawyers who helped get compensation for all the Samezuka kids. We didn't meet the doctor back then, but by chance he happened to see some of Haru's paintings, around the time I started working at the IBB, and bought one. Now there's quite a few of Haru's pieces on the walls at work.”

Latching on to the first positive thing he'd heard about Haru all night, Nagisa's eyes widened.

“Haru-chan, you're an artist? Wait, was that your painting next to my chair at my donation? The blue one that's like sea and sky at the same time?”

Haru looked a little surprised at Nagisa's description of the painting, evidently recognising it from his vague impression of it, and he nodded.

“It's beautiful,” Nagisa continued. “I'll have to look for more of your paintings when I go back!”

He asked Haru about his art, and how long he'd been painting, and what else he did besides, until Makoto tactfully pointed out the time and Nagisa realised he'd have to hurry if he didn't want to be late for work. Before he left, he thanked Makoto for their talk and insisted that they'd have to hang out again sometime, taking Makoto's number and promising to send him a message once he got to work safely.

Fortunately, his shift kept him too busy to dwell on his conversation with Makoto, but Nagisa had a feeling it would find its way into his dreams when he eventually got to sleep. 

The sun was just peeking over the horizon when he eventually left the store. His feet ached from so many hours without sitting down, and his bag felt far heavier than when he'd left the house the night before. He considered blowing a few yen on catching the bus home, but there was a pleasant autumn crispness in the air that perked him up when he stepped outside, and he decided he could manage the walk.

Along the way, he passed a road-sign indicating a turn-off for the IBB, and on a whim, changed direction. He hovered outside the door to the donor centre for a couple of minutes, watching the people passing through the reception. Even at this time in the morning there were people checking in and out, and medical staff in scrubs.

Nagisa's hunch paid off; he didn't have to wait long before he saw a familiar figure appear by the reception desk. He yanked the door open and ducked inside, trying not to wince at the sudden heat from the indoor climate-control.

“Dr Ryuugazaki!” he called, interrupting the doctor's conversation with the receptionist.

“Hazuki-san!” The doctor sounded astounded to see Nagisa, which was probably fair given that he'd known Nagisa had been working all night.

“How are you back at work already? Maybe you really do live here.” Nagisa grinned to show that he was kidding, but Dr Ryuugazaki didn't seem to get the joke. “I just wanted to apologise.

“For what?”

“When I invited you for coffee with us, I didn't know it was going to turn out so awkward. For what it's worth, I really did like talking to you.”

“Oh.” The doctor looked lost for words; he compensated by adjusting his glasses, effectively hiding his face behind one large hand.

“I feel like I should make it up to you,” Nagisa said, adjusting his bag before it slipped too far down his shoulder. “Like, maybe we should have coffee without Haru-chan next time?”

“Next time?” The doctor crossed his arms, making his tie crooked again. Nagisa fought the urge to reach out and straighten it. “Hazuki-san, are you...are you asking me out on a date?”

Nagisa knew he looked shocked.

“Well, no, I wasn't,” he conceded, then gave a sly smile. “But we could make it a date if you like.”

“Hazuki-san, I - ”

“San? You don't have to be so formal!”

“Hazuki-kun, I really - ”

“Nagisa!”

The doctor sighed. “Nagisa-kun, I'm not sure it's appropriate for me to date a donor.”

“Okay, so it's not a date. It's just coffee and me saying sorry for dragging you on an uncomfortable evening with my friends.” Nagisa pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up the calendar. “What time do you finish work tonight?”

“I...Really, Nagisa-kun, I - ”

“Your shift ends at seven, Dr Ryuugazaki,” the receptionist interjected. Nagisa flashed her a conspiratorial smile.

“I start work at nine. That gives us nearly two hours. Perfect!” He tapped at his phone. “It's in my calendar now. 'Meet Dr Ryuugazaki for coffee, 7pm.'” Suddenly, Nagisa gasped. “Wait, I can't keep calling you Dr Ryuugazaki! If nothing else, it's too long to type.” He leaned in to read the doctor's name-badge; when he realised what Nagisa was doing, Dr Ryuugazaki clapped a hand over his badge, but it was too late. “Rei? Ryuugazaki Rei?” He tapped at his phone again. “Meet Rei-chan for coffee, 7pm. That's better!”

“'Rei-chan'?” The doctor looked like he was about to explode. Nagisa thought it was hilarious.

“I'll be back here at seven,” he announced. “Do you want to go back to the diner, or somewhere else? There's a nice coffee place around the corner from here, but the diner has a good-value all-day breakfast menu. I love their pancakes!”

He watched as Rei struggled for a response, eventually letting his shoulders sag with defeat.

“The diner is fine,” he sighed, and Nagisa punched the air, grinning madly.

“Alright!” He stuffed his phone back into his pocket. “I'll be back at seven, Rei-chan. See you tonight!” He was out the door before Rei could protest. The ache in his muscles had almost completely faded, and he walked home with a spring in his step, enjoying the feel of the autumn sun as morning finally reached Iwatobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really regret starting my chapters with blood donation jokes.


	5. Rei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor is in; suddenly, SouRinTori!

On a normal day, Rei would be able to focus completely on his work, whether that was analysing data, cataloguing stock or meeting with patients. His job was logical and ordered, and came with the satisfaction of knowing that he was helping thousands of people across the prefecture.

Sunday, however, was not a normal day. First of all, the knowledge of his upcoming not-a-date with Hazuki Nagisa was tickling at the back of his mind, giving him a feeling not unlike waiting to take his turn at the pole vault back in his high school track team days – anxious and excited and petrified all at once. Rei hadn't had a social engagement that wasn't somehow related to work for... well, for far too long now, and suddenly he was about to go on his second social gathering in two days.

Secondly, as his PA had reminded him that morning, Sunday was the day of Nitori Aiichiirou's monthly check-up, which meant that Rin would also be dropping by.

The appointment was scheduled for two in the afternoon, but Rei usually cleared his schedule for the entire day for it. He had spent the morning circulating both the donor ward and the transfusion ward, checking that everything was running okay and reminding his staff, with an anxious smile, that 'Matsuoka-san will be dropping by this afternoon, so let's show him that his money is being well-spent!' His lunch break he spent alone in his office, reviewing figures and sipping a calming cup of tea, before taking a few minutes of silent meditation. Rin's visits always unnerved the staff, which in turn made Rei himself feel more than a little on edge. When the staff were nervous, they were more likely to make errors, and on more than one occasion Rin had arrived in time to find Rei dealing with a skittish phlebotomist's unfortunate mistakes.

Half an hour before the scheduled visit, Rei checked his appearance in the mirror in his private wash-room, put on a fresh white coat, polished his name-badge with his shirt cuff, practised his welcoming smile, and headed out to the reception desk. He liked to look busy when Rin arrived, and also liked to be around just in case of any last-minute emergency.

At two p.m. precisely, a sleek back car pulled up right outside the front door, despite the 'no parking' signs, and a driver in uniform came around to the passenger-side doors. Before opening the back door, she opened a large black umbrella so that the passengers who emerged from the back seat could step under it. She handed the umbrella to the taller of the two men, then moved to hold the door for a third. Once everyone was out of the car, she hurried to open the centre's doors, waiting in silence until all three men were in the building. 

Rei waited impatiently for the whole charade to be over. It was perfectly possible for Rin to schedule Aichirou's appointments at night, or send him unaccompanied, or even use the transfusion ward entrance with its underground car park. But Rin insisted on showing the donors and staff that he was a respectable member of society, with every right to be out in public. His name was on the building, he reasoned, so of course he would enter through the front door at any time he chose.

“Rin-san,” Rei greeted, as warmly as his nerves would let him. “And Yamazaki-san, nice to see you again.” Yamazaki grunted a greeting as he re-folded the umbrella and removed his sunglasses. Rin pulled his shades down to the tip of his nose and peeked over them for a second, before flashing Rei a huge smile and taking them off. He slipped the sunglasses into the inner pocket of his exquisitely tailored jacket, then looked around and beckoned the final member of their party to join him.

“Rei, how many times do I have to tell you? We're old friends! Don't be so formal.” As he spoke, he put an arm around the shoulders of the third man, who leaned heavily against Rin's side. “And stop calling him Yamazaki,” he nodded towards the man in question. “It's Sousuke. Or dog-breath. Or butt-face. Or my personal favourite - ”

“Want me to tell him the nicknames we have for you, _Rinrin_?” Sousuke asked, before moving to stand by Rin's other side. Before Rin could protest, Sousuke slipped an arm around Rin's waist and placed a kiss on the side of his head. The three of them turned and looked at Rei all at once. Rei hoped that his knees wouldn't give way any time soon.

“Nitori-kun,” he managed, turning his attention to youngest of his visitors. “How are you doing today?”

When Nitori spoke, he seemed to look anywhere but at Rei.

“I'm fine, Dr Ryuugazaki.” His voice was papery-thin, soft and high. Rei was not a fan of horror films, but Aiichiirou somehow always seemed to him like he'd been plucked from the frame of some supernatural chiller. His haircut was dated, his clothes far too formal for a young man of his age, and he had a habit of never looking anyone in the eye until after he'd finished speaking to them.

Trying to suppress a shudder, Rei gestured towards the corridor. 

“Shall we get started, then?” he asked, waiting for Rin to lead the way as he usually did.

“I'd like to take a tour of the ward first, Rei,” Rin answered for him before falling into step beside Rei. He let go of Aiichiirou, who waited for Sousuke to move him with an arm around his shoulder. They walked along in silence behind Rei and Rin, who talked amiably about how the centre was doing and how the new staff were settling in. When they reached the door to the donor ward, Rei refrained from stepping too far inside; Rin was sometimes inclined to go in and actually talk to donors while they were bleeding, which some found upsetting, so Rei tried to keep him away from the ward as much as possible. Fortunately, he didn't stay too long this time. Behind them, Sousuke seemed unusually antsy, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt and and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Would you like me to accompany you both down to the transfusion ward?” Rei asked when Rin finally noticed his companion's fidgeting.

“That's okay,” Rin replied. “You take Ai. We'll take the elevator.” Rin gestured for Aiichiirou to follow Rei, before heading in the opposite direction with Sousuke. Rei watched them over his shoulder as he walked, still uneasy after all this time with the way the two of them seemed to take up so much more space than they ought to wherever they went.

He reached his office door and waited for Aiichiirou to catch up, unable to hold back a sigh of relief when he finally got the door closed behind them.

“Well, Nitori-kun, how have you been since your last appointment?” He gestured for Aiichiirou to hop up on to the bench at the side of the room. Apart from Aiichiirou's appointments and the occasional emergency on the wards, it was hardly ever used. Most of the work Rei did in his office was administration, with the occasional meeting or interview, but he kept the medical equipment just as pristine as the rest of the furniture. 

“I'm fine, Dr Ryuugazaki,” Aiichiirou said, with exactly the same intonation as the first time he'd said it back in reception. Rei wanted to ignore the dreamy, distant way Ai spoke, but it seemed to get more disconcerting with each visit. Ai kept his gaze fixed on the painting on the office wall. It was his favourite of all the ones he'd purchased from Haruka, and definitely deserved attention, but Ai seemed to fixate on it every single time he was in Rei's office.

Feeling a sudden urge to get the check-up over with as quickly as possible, Rei began his usual battery of tests. Blood pressure, haemoglobin, blood sugar, a 30ml blood sample for the lab, followed by a general physical check-up. Ai was weighed, and his limbs and torso checked over for bruises, lumps, moles and anything else out of the ordinary. He endured it with barely a sound, even when Rei deliberately left the end of his stethoscope cold before pressing it to Ai's chest.

He was just finishing up his notes when Rin and Sousuke let themselves into the office. Both men had gained a flush to their cheeks, and Sousuke's pupils were so dilated it was almost impossible to tell what colour his eyes were.

“Everything was satisfactory, I take it?” Rei asked, standing and walking around his desk.

“You're doing a bang-up job, Rei,” Rin told him with a grin, flashing his too-sharp teeth. Some years previously, there had been a brief fashion for people with AP to adopt some of the trappings of traditional vampire folklore; Victorian frock-coats and ebony walking canes for young men, corsets and chokers for women, and a dangerous but short-lived fad for dental modification. It hadn't lasted long, as AP awareness campaigners pushed for sufferers to be accepted as regular, otherwise-normal people, but a few people, including Rin, still bore the evidence of their impetuous youth. Sousuke, thankfully, had never gone in for such flashiness. His clothes were always tastefully stylish, his hair sensibly short, and his conduct in public reserved and polite. His only flirtation with that sort of edgy behaviour was an occasional tendency to wear a stylised pewter claw on the thumb of his left hand, supposedly used by AP sufferers who still drank fresh blood rather than opting for transfusions. Rei wanted to think that it was merely for show, but comments that Ai occasionally let slip had, unfortunately, told him otherwise.

“How's our little Ai doing this month, doc?” Rei asked, as Ai slipped down from the bench and darted over to embrace him. Rin ruffled his hair and smiled at him.

“As healthy as always.” Rei proffered the chart he'd been filling in, but Rin dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “I would like to discuss a couple of things with you though, if you don't mind staying a little longer.” He watched Rin and Sousuke exchange uncertain glances. “In private, if you'd be so kind.” He could feel his heart thumping behind his ribs; he rarely saw Rin angry, and couldn't remember ever seeing that anger directed at himself, but even in his best moods, Rin kept Rei feeling on edge.

“Sure,” Rin answered after a few seconds. “Sousuke, take Ai down to the rest area. Get him some cookies.”

As Sousuke and Ai made for the door, Rin reached out and let his hand graze over Sousuke's chest. Sousuke kept both his hands on Ai's shoulders, guiding him out of the door.

“So what's up, Rei?” Rin moved to sit on the edge of Rei's desk, leaving Rei standing awkwardly in the middle of the office. “Is Ai really okay?”

“Physically, he's in fine health,” Rei assured him. “One of his cuts is a little too close to an artery for my liking, so I'd recommend you stick to small cuts in safe areas, like the shoulders or outer thighs. He could stand to get out in the sun more often, too. But apart from that, he's clearly being well-taken care of.”

Rin seemed happy at this, slipping his hands into his trouser-pockets and shrugging.

“So what was so important that you had to send my boys out of the room?”

Rei drew in a deep breath to steady himself before continuing.

“Honestly, it's Nitori-kun's mental health that I'm concerned about.”

“Mental health?” Rin crossed his arms over his chest. “What are you saying?”

“I suspect that Nitori-kun may be experiencing a lack of stimulation.”

“Oh, he's definitely well stimulated!” Rin assured him with a leer, which Rei tried to ignore.

“I'm talking about mental stimulation, Rin-san.”

“Rei, it's just you, me and the door. Call me Rin-san one more time and I'll bite you.” He smiled, presumably to show Rei that he was kidding, but Rei didn't feel reassured.

“Does Nitori-kun have any opportunity to spend time with people his own age? Or with anyone outside of...outside of your home?” Rin shrugged, then shook his head. “Then, does he have any activities to occupy his mind when he's not with you?” Again, Rin shrugged. “Rin-sa – Rin. I'm sure you can understand that a young man like Nitori-kun needs something to do with his time. He doesn't work, and he's not in college.”

“He has the run of the whole house,” Rin countered, “and you've seen our house. Gym, pool, home cinema, study full of books. And there are other people in the house besides me and Sousuke.”

“Nitori-kun can't have the help as his only companions, Rin.”

“What do you expect me to do?” Rin stuffed his hands back in his pockets, suddenly looking like the petulant teenager Rei first met him as, rather than the accomplished adult he was supposed to be.

“Let him take a few college courses,” Rei suggested. “Find him a hobby. Let him make some new friends. Let him find things to occupy his mind. Please. Before he turns into a...” He trailed off, unable to meet Rin's eye.

“Go on, say it.”

“Before he turns into nothing more than a blood-bag,” Rei spat. “I know you care about him, Rin. I know you wouldn't want to see him end up like that. He was apart from you for half an hour during his appointment, and when you came back it was like you'd been away for a year. He's getting too dependent on you and Sousuke. He needs to be able to function on his own, speak for himself.” When Rin looked away, pouting, Rei tried to soften his approach. “I know your relationship with Nitori-kun is special. I know it's more than just...well, you know. But if he carries on this way, pretty soon you won't even be able to have a conversation with him. The brain is like a muscle – if you don't exercise it, it will atrophy and become useless.”

He waited, as Rin huffed a breath and scowled.

“Fine. I'll see about enrolling him at a night-class or something.”

Rei answered him with a smile, before moving to file Nitori's appointment notes in the cabinet behind his desk.

“I would really appreciate it. I'm sure Nitori-kun will too. It'll be good for all three of you, you'll see.”

Rin shoved himself off the desk, yawned suddenly, and stretched.

“I should get going. Sousuke's probably scaring the staff half to death. Plus I'm exhausted. I hate getting up in the middle of the day.”

“So schedule Nitori-kun's appointments in the evening.”

“You know how these things are,” Rin told him, smiling again at last. “Got to show the staff that the chairman is a nice guy, am I right?” Rei nodded, opening the door for Rin. “We'll see ourselves out,” he announced as they both stepped out into the corridor. A porter, passing by with a trolley full of blood-bags and sample-tubes, got the fright of his life when Rin stepped into his path and told him, “Keep up the good work!” in a voice that was far too loud for indoors. Rei frowned at him, and Rin laughed.

“Thank you for coming in, Rin-san.”

“See you next month, Ryuugazaki-san,” Rin countered with a deep bow, snickering as he straightened back up. Rei tried to resist the instinct to mirror the bow. 

He watched Rin's back as the chairman walked down the corridor, expensive shoes clicking smartly on the tiled floor. Once he'd disappeared around a corner, Rei slipped back into his office, locked the door behind him, and sank into the plush leather chair behind his desk. He looked at the day-planner, spread out in front of him, reassured himself that there was nothing else in his schedule for the rest of the day, and dropped his forehead to the desk with a groan so loud they could probably hear it down at reception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rei's not-a-date with Nagisa was originally going to be part of this chapter, but after all that I'm about as exhausted as poor Rei is, so it will have to be in chapter 5.


	6. Aichiirou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I broke Nitori. I'm sorry.

Ai had decided that tinted windows were the best thing in the world. The people they passed as they drove had no idea that he was watching them so intently from behind black glass, and they made the bright afternoon light look like dusk, keeping Ai and his companions safe and secluded. He would prefer having his appointments in the evening – trips outside during the day tended to make him fretful, and it was often hard to take his eyes off of Rin and Sousuke in case one of them slipped up and allowed the sun to burn their beautiful skin.

When the car stopped at traffic lights, Ai shuffled closer to the window and watched a couple walking by with hands full of expensive shopping bags. He told himself a story about how they'd met, about how they went out every weekend and played at being a happy couple, buying each other little gifts and eating cake in a cute little cafe, before going back to their apartment and disappearing into separate rooms to send e-mails to their secret lovers. They looked so much in love out in public, but they weren't really. Not like Ai was in love. No one had ever loved like Ai.

Behind him, Rin and Sousuke were having a hushed conversation about something that sounded important. He heard his name mentioned a couple of times, but didn't let it bother him. That was why he had them, after all; two wonderful men who took care of everything bothersome so that Ai never had to fear or worry. Instead, he waved goodbye to the couple on the street as the car pulled away, and hoped they would find happiness soon.

For the rest of the journey, Ai sat back in his seat with his eyes closed and focused on the sensation of moving without really moving, imagining that he was flying towards home. He forgot about the pressure on his limbs where Dr Ryuugazaki had poked and prodded, and even the cold burn where the stethoscope had pressed over his heart. His heart was strong and could endure any pain; it had to, because Rin and Sousuke needed his heart. He concentrated on the feel of it beating, regular and firm, ready at all times for his lovers to feed.

They wouldn't be hungry right now; they'd been in their hospital beds, he knew, taking transfusions of someone else's blood. But Ai hoped they would still taste him tonight. Rin assured him that nothing compared to his blood. Taking a transfusion, Rin said, was like eating a protein bar to tide them over until they could sit down to a banquet.

The three of them waited patiently until the garage door had been completely closed before getting out of the car. Ai lagged behind Rin and Sousuke as they headed into the house and towards the master bedroom. Usually after a transfusion they headed straight back to sleep, all three of them napping in a tangled pile on the big bed, but AI had picked up enough of their conversation to know that they were choosing instead to spend a couple of hours in the gym, which meant that they needed to talk about something. When they wanted to work out, they went separately; sparring together or taking turns spotting each other at the weight bench was their preferred way of working through something serious.

Ai took his time wandering back through the house, unsure whether to attempt to take a nap alone or go for a dip in the pool. As he walked down the hallway which led to his own room, he cast his eyes over the photographs hanging in neat rows on the wall; photos from Rin's travels as a younger man, all night-time cityscapes and ethereal pre-dawn deserts and valleys. There were framed pictures of Rin posing with various politicians and celebrities too, taken at various benefits and campaign launches.

Right at the end of the hallway, by the door to his room, was Ai's favourite picture of them all, the one he'd brought with him when he moved in with Rin and Sousuke. The photograph was of Ai's second-year high school class, with Rin front and centre next to Ai's homeroom teacher.

***

Rin had visited the school to talk to the class about the IBB and its early starter donor scheme, offering a generous allowance to any O- donors who chose to start their donations at sixteen instead of eighteen. Ai had sat in the auditorium completely enraptured, mesmerised by Rin's heartfelt speech as much as by his piercing eyes and bright smile. As Rin had explained about how his father had worked hard to build links between the AP community and the original Iwatobi Donor Centre, and about how his father had been killed by members of an anti-AP hate group, Ai had felt a connection he'd never experienced before in his short life. When the speech was over and the students began filing out, Ai had slipped out of his place in line, stood petrified before Rin, and stammered, “Matsuoka-san...I want to help.”

With the teacher's permission, Rin had gone with Ai to an empty classroom where, over the next two hours, Ai had told him everything. About his average grades and reserve spot on the school's swim team, and how he feared he wouldn't be able to get into a decent university. About how his sister had contracted AP from her boyfriend and had run away from home to live in a filthy shared apartment with a bunch of other AP sufferers, and how one night she'd sneaked back into Ai's bedroom and scared him half to death with her gaunt appearance. Through his tears, he confessed to Rin how he'd made three parallel cuts on his forearm and let her feed, just a little, before she'd fled the house in tears. He told Rin how he'd cried when he heard, a week later, that she'd thrown herself off the roof of a building at sunrise, counting on the sun to burn her skin to leave her almost unrecognisable. They wouldn't have identified her at all, Ai told him, if she hadn't still been carrying the wallet she'd stolen from Ai with his school ID inside.

Rin had held his hand as he'd sobbed, offered him a pristine handkerchief to dry his eyes, and listened with a kind smile as Ai announced that he wanted to spend his life helping people suffering from AP. He was an O-, so of course he'd donate as soon as possible, but surely, he pleaded, there was more he could do.

A week later, after giving his first donation, he'd started volunteering at the IBB. Nothing too intense, just a little filing and cleaning and moving blood bags from the donation ward to the storage room. But he was helping. Suddenly, he had a purpose. Suddenly he mattered: to the IBB staff and Dr Ryuugazaki, to the patients taking their transfusions, and to Rin. Every time Rin had visited the centre for his weekly transfusion, Ai made certain to be there to greet him, to smile and to thank him for the opportunity and ask if there was ever anything else he could do.

When Rin introduced him to Sousuke, Ai gave his brightest smile and greeted him warmly, waiting until they left for the transfusion ward before locking himself in the staff bathroom and crying for twenty minutes straight.

Of course Rin would have someone special in his life. How could anyone as wonderful as Rin possibly be single? Surely it was enough, he told himself, that he got to be a part of Rin's life at all.

The next time Rin visited the centre, Ai ducked into the bathroom as soon as he heard Rin's voice in reception. He locked himself into a stall and took deep breaths through his nose, trying to stave off the sobs threatening to overwhelm him.

He couldn't have been in there more than five minutes before the bathroom door opened and a voice called out, “Aichiirou? You in here?” He let out a startled squeak that gave him away instantly, and realised he had no choice but to slip out of the stall and face Rin. “Someone told me you were in here. You didn't want to say hello to me today?”

Rin leant against the counter in front of one of the sinks, and Ai couldn't stop himself from glancing at Rin's reflection in the mirror behind him. He knew better than to believe the silly myths about vampires from old movies, but it was one of those things that people still talked about.

“I'm just having a bad day,” he murmured, forcing a smile on to his face. “I didn't want you to see me like this. It's embarrassing.” He sniffed. “I'm supposed to be working. It's not very professional of me.”

Rin pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to Ai, who took it gratefully and dabbed at his eyes.

“Is...Is Yamazaki-san with you today?” he asked, handing back the handkerchief, which Rin declined.

“He's already gone down to the transfusion ward,” Rin told him with an odd tone to his voice that sounded like he was working something out in his head. “Do you want him to come see you when he's done?”

Ai shook his head, and shoved the handkerchief in his pocket. He still had the first one, from the very first time he'd met Rin. He'd never tell anyone that it was kept neatly folded in his underwear drawer.

“I should get back to work,” Ai insisted, making for the door.

“Ai,” Rin called out, and he stopped moving instantly. Without being asked, he turned back to face Rin. After a moment, Rin stepped forward and put his hands on Ai's shoulders, looking him in the eye, before pulling Ai to him and wrapping him in a strong embrace. Ai hid his face in Rin's chest, hoping fervently that he wouldn't get tears or snot-stains on Rin's jacket. “I hope you feel better soon,” Rin whispered, before pulling back and ruffling his hair. Ai managed another smile, before turning and heading out of the bathroom, back to work.

It had been almost a month before he saw Rin again. Ai should have felt better about that, but when he found out that Rin had scheduled two consecutive transfusions for the morning, instead of late evening when Ai was usually volunteering, he couldn't help but wonder if Rin was deliberately avoiding him. Which was ridiculous, he knew, because someone as important as Rin probably couldn't care less about Ai, but the possibility still hurt.

He wasn't expecting to find Rin and Sousuke waiting for him when he went to sign out at reception, and found himself frozen by the desk, almost forgetting why he was there at all.

“You got plans after work?” Rin asked, like it was nothing out of the ordinary. Ai was so befuddled, he'd shook his head before he even realised, causing Rin to smile widely and reply, “Fantastic!” 

As the three of them stepped into the elevator, Rin explained that they were taking Ai for coffee to “catch up”. Ai, too muddled to think about what that might mean, could only tell Rin that he didn't drink coffee. Both men, standing either side of him, laughed heartily, leaving Ai blushing furiously. “Cocoa, then? Or tea. Or a milkshake. Whatever you like, Aichiirou, my treat.” 

They got off the elevator at the transfusion ward. Ai had never been there in all his time at the IBB. Rin and Sousuke flanked him as they walked along the corridor, making it difficult for Ai to see into the ward as they passed its door. All he saw was a couple of flushed, relaxed faces on white benches. It ought to have looked perfectly normal, like a regular hospital ward, so Ai couldn't place what it was that gave the place its eerie, somnolent atmosphere.

Rin's car was in the underground car park. He'd driven himself that day, in a flashy red two-door that looked brand new. Sousuke somehow folded himself into the back seat, leaving Ai sitting up front next to Rin. As they drove, Rin asked Ai about school, and suddenly Ai found himself talking far more than he thought he could, about his classes and about swimming and about his work at the IBB. He lost track of how long they travelled, only realising that they'd left Iwatobi when Rin finally stopped the car. They were somewhere up the coast, and as he stepped outside Ai could hear waves hitting the shore.

He walked with them from the empty lot where Rin had parked, across the road to a beachside cafe which was still lit up and open, in spite of the late hour. Inside, Rin ordered them hot drinks in take-out cups, and a cupcake which was packaged in a white card box with little windows. Sousuke carried it; it looked faintly ridiculous, so delicate in his huge hands. When Rin had paid, he and Sousuke walked either side of Ai, back outside and down on to the beach. The tide was on its way in, but the soft dry sand under Ai's shoes told him they were safe enough, that the water wouldn't reach where they stopped and sat.

Ai held on to his hot chocolate tightly, feeling the chill of the night air. He realised he was shivering only when Sousuke slipped off his jacket and draped it over Ai's shoulders. It was comically large on him, and spread out on to the sand behind him, but he thanked Sousuke in a timid voice before hiding his face by taking a slow sip from his drink.

For a while, they sat in silence and watched the waves. Out in the distance, faint lights hinted at ships out at sea, and Ai wondered idly where they might be headed.

“Tell me about your sister,” Rin asked, startling Ai. He barely held on to his cup, and tightened his hold on it to try to keep from shaking.

“There isn't really much else to tell you,” he said, “besides what you already know.” Both Rin and Sousuke were looking out towards the ocean, Rin on his left and Sousuke on his right. They sat close to him, but not so close that they touched, and Ai wished he was brave enough to lean against Rin's shoulder.

“You told me that she came to see you, after she contracted AP.” Ai nodded, thinking he knew where Rin's questions were leading, but too uncertain to say anything. “You told me that you let her feed from you.”

At the time, Ai hadn't thought of it as feeding. He knew enough about AP to know that sufferers could survive with regular transfusions, but his high school science classes didn't cover any other ways to sustain those afflicted. Anything else he knew, he'd picked up from news stories and movies and playground gossip, the sort of hearsay and half-truths that kept people so worried about AP even when the donor centre proved that a relatively normal life was still possible. When Aiko had appeared in his room, whispering fragments of nonsense about being “starved” and “tired”, all Ai knew was that she needed blood, and there was only one way to help her.

“Tell me, Aichiirou.” Rin set his cup down in the sand and turned to look at him, one elbow resting on his bent knee. “When you let her feed, were you safe?”

“I...” He floundered, not quite sure what Rin meant. “She was my sister, she wouldn't have hurt me.” Rin shook his head.

“That's not what I meant.” He pulled something out of his pocket; a handful of square packets that Ai recognised as steri-wipes from the donor centre. “If you're in contact with a person with AP, and you have an open wound, you should take great care to disinfect the area and keep it covered afterwards.” He opened one of the packets and removed a wipe, and Ai could smell the faint tang of alcohol. “Transmitting AP via saliva is unheard of, as far as we know, but you should always play it safe. Which arm did she feed from?”

Hesitantly, Ai slid his left arm out from under Sousuke's jacket. The three scars were barely visible; just faint, silvery lines, hardly noticeable unless you were looking for them. Rin took hold of his forearm and began to dab the skin near the crook of his elbow. At his other side, Sousuke took his cup from his unresisting hand and gently stretched out his other arm. He too was holding a steri-wipe, and began copying Rin's actions with Ai's right arm.

“How long did she feed for, Ai?” Rin's voice was ghostly quiet, barely audible above the waves rolling on to the beach. Ai thought back to that night; the whole thing had been so surreal, barely more tangible than a dream, and he was sure there had been no way to measure how long Aiko had been latched on to his arm.

“I don't know, maybe...maybe less than a minute?” He watched as Sousuke stuffed his steri-wipe into his empty coffee cup, then took Rin's and did the same with it.

“That's good,” Rin murmured, his smile evident in his voice. “Sometimes, if you're that hungry, it can be tough to keep control. I'm guessing you didn't cut too deep either. She just got a taste.” Rin seemed to be studying his arm, and suddenly it hit Ai that he was in the middle of nowhere, at night, with two grown men who survived on human blood. He felt a split-second of paralysing fear, before it faded; enough people had seen him leave the IBB with Rin and Sousuke, so if anything happened to him, they'd be the first to be questioned. With that realisation, a strangely warm sensation of calm settled over him, and he lifted up both arms a fraction higher.

“It's okay,” he heard himself say, in a voice that sounded far more level than it ought to. He turned to Sousuke. “Both of you. It's okay.” 

He watched the two of them exchange surprised looks over his head, before Sousuke began rummaging in his pocket. He pulled out something small and metallic-looking, and began cleaning it with a third steri-wipe, before fitting it on to the end of his thumb. This was something Ai hadn't seen before. He'd been bracing himself for the feel of teeth on his flesh, so didn't know how to react when Sousuke reached over him and took his left arm; the angle was a little awkward, but he held still as Sousuke scratched two quick lines near his elbow. It took a couple of seconds before Ai registered the sting, by which time Sousuke had done the same with his right arm. Rin pressed his lips to Ai's temple, just for a moment, before the two of them leaned in and latched on to his arms.

“Oh...” He'd expected to be able to feel the blood leaving his body. Silly, he knew, because he never felt that when he donated. What he felt instead was two warm mouths sucking on surprisingly sensitive swathes of his skin, and two tongues lapping like kittens. It almost tickled.

He found himself counting heartbeats to measure the time that passed. It pleased him in a way he couldn't describe, feeling the strong thud of his heart behind his ribs, his heart pumping the blood that Rin and Sousuke drank. He wondered if they could feel it too.

They didn't feed for long. He heard himself let loose a disappointed whine as they both let go almost in tandem. When they lifted their heads, their eyes were bright in the moonlight. Rin's face was so close to his, and he could feel Sousuke's breath on his cheek.

Aichiirou's first ever kiss was smeared with the taste of his own blood.

His second came with the cold press of metal as Sousuke's hand cupped the back of his neck. For his third, fourth and fifth, he was laying prone on the sand, with two warm bodies stretched out along either side of him. It was sweet, and soft, and he could feel his lips tingling from pressure he was unused to. His body felt pleasantly heavy, and though he was half-hard in his pants he felt too lethargic to want to do anything about it. Instead, he let Rin and Sousuke take turns kissing him and each other.

When he felt his eyelids begin to close of their own accord, he let out a tired whine which somehow became a yawn, and heard Sousuke snicker somewhere to his right side. He didn't protest as he was picked up and carried in a pair of strong arms back to the car, and laid out in the back seat. They must have taken him home, because he woke up in his own bed, with a boxed cupcake on his nightstand. He didn't know if Rin and Sousuke had had to explain anything to his parents, and was surpised to realise that he didn't much care if they had. He had matching band-aids on his inner arms, a yellow-frosted cupcake for his breakfast, and the memory of Rin's lips on his, and nothing else in the world mattered.

***

The night on the beach was one of Ai's favourite memories. Sometimes he could touch one finger to the photograph and one to his lips and play the whole thing out again like a movie in his head.

Deciding that he didn't want to fall asleep in his own room after all, Ai changed direction and headed towards the indoor pool. There were no windows on the pool walls; instead he could choose between full lighting for serious swimming, or soft blue lights which twinkled from the ceiling and walls. More often than not he chose the latter, as he did this time, before stripping off his clothes and leaving them in a haphazard pile on the floor. They'd get wet, but by the time he'd stepped out of his underpants, he'd forgotten about them already.

He lay on the cool tiled floor at the edge of the pool, with just his toes dipped into the water, fancying that he could hear waves on sand. He watched the lights in the ceiling fade and brighten, until his eyes began to sting, then rolled himself over and slipped into the pool like a seal. He dove down and tapped the bottom of the pool, hanging upside down like a sleeping sperm whale, then rolled himself up and turned over, pushing off from the bottom to shoot back up to the surface.

For a while, he floated on his back, sculling gently with his arms, not caring about direction or speed. When he got bored, he flipped over and swam a few lengths of slow breast-stroke, feeling the satisfying ache in his thighs. Back in school, he could have swum length after length without tiring; now, it seemed as though he started to feel heavy in the water. His breathing felt steady, but his muscles were sluggish, and everything felt like too much effort. So he used the last of his energy in a burst of front-crawl until he reached the edge of the pool, where he turned over and floated on his back again, head resting on the edge of the pool to keep himself from drifting back out.

He heard, rather than saw, Rin and Sousuke enter the pool area, and wondered just how long he'd been there. Once, he'd come dangerously close to falling asleep while floating, only coming to when he'd sucked in a mouthful of chlorinated water. A burst of coughing and spluttering woke him up, and for a while afterwards he was wary of getting too relaxed when he swam.

Rin called his name softly, and he turned himself over to look at them. They were both freshly showered, wearing bathrobes, with their hair towelled dry. Ai pouted a little; one of his favourite things in the world was to towel Rin's hair after a shower before combing through the tangles with his fingers.

Sousuke reached down and pulled him out of the water with both hands, smiling and raising his eyebrows when he realised Ai was naked. 

“I lost my clothes,” he told Sousuke, who just shook his head, before Rin swooped in and wrapped him up in a fluffy white towel. He was rubbed dry from top to toe before Rin scooped him up, and Ai giggled and kicked his legs as he was carried through the house to the master bedroom.

Whatever they'd talked about in the gym must have been resolved, because they both seemed much more relaxed than they had in the car. It seemed to Ai that they were paying him even more attention than usual, too, and he wondered if they'd talked about him. He was kissed all over, positively worshipped, and as he was manoeuvred to straddle Sousuke's lap while Rin settled in behind him, he felt utterly precious, so special and loved that he could burst from the size of it all. As the two of them rocked against him, they settled their mouths on his skin, Rin at his shoulder and Sousuke at his pectoral, with Sousuke holding their lengths in his big, big hand and Rin moving inside him. Ai pictured little pieces of himself moving inside Rin as they both drank, tiny little Aichiirous slipping into Sousuke and clustering around his heart. As they held him, he raised his arms to the side and he was flying, his skin a swirl of silvery scars, and he shimmered in the darkness. They breathed his name, _Ai, Ai, Ai_ , and his name was love. They loved him, and he loved them, and no one had ever loved anyone like Ai loved them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translator's note: 'Ai' means 'Nine-tailed fox'. Or possibly 'love'. Probably 'love'.


	7. Rei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei definitely does not go on a date with Nagisa; Rei does, however, have a plan.

When Rei arrived in the reception of the IBB at precisely seven pm, he was a little surprised to see Nagisa already there waiting for him, gazing intently at a framed painting of the IBB building in spring, surrounded by cherry trees in full bloom. He couldn't say why he'd expected Nagisa to be the type of person who was always late; Rei appreciated punctuality, and good manners in general, and found himself smiling when Nagisa turned to greet him.

“This isn't one of Haru-chan's paintings, is it?” he asked instead of actually saying hello, catching Rei a little off guard. 

“Well, no it's not.” Rei fumbled with his glasses as he tried to adjust to the sudden skip from where the conversation was supposed to be. “It was commissioned from another local artist last year.” Nagisa frowned at the picture as if it had personally offended him. “It's a very accurate representation, but I must admit, it lacks the spirit that Haruka-san's artwork possesses.”

He signed himself out at reception and said a quick goodbye to the young man working there, before moving to hold open the door for Nagisa. Outside, Rei felt the sudden bite of chilly autumn air, and wished he'd thought to pick up a coat, or at least a scarf. Nagisa was sensibly bundled up in a thick coat with a large knitted hat jammed lop-sided on his head. It seemed to Rei that they must have made a rather peculiar-looking couple, with Nagisa in bright clashing colours and him in his grey suit and smart shoes.

“You like Haru-chan's artwork, huh?” Nagisa continued as they walked down the street, and Rei realised he was going to have to rethink his understanding of social conversation protocol if he was going to make it through the evening. Nagisa seemed to have a habit of pushing a conversation along by means of segues, non-sequiturs and unexpected observations, which took some getting used to but proved to be a rather effective way for them to get to know each other. By the time they reached the diner, they'd discussed their shared appreciation for Haruka's artwork, their very different tastes in music and their opinions of the architecture of the new Matsuoka Medical Group building that had recently been built in Sapporo. 

At the diner, Nagisa skipped a couple of paces ahead to hold the door open for Rei. When Rei faltered at the unexpected gesture, Nagisa quirked his eyebrows and shot him a smile that said, 'problem?' Rei could only nod his thanks and step inside.

Fortunately it was much warmer indoors, and Rei ended up slipping off his jacket and draping it over one arm, a little embarrassed at the way his glasses quickly misted over. He wasn't too surprised when Nagisa stepped ahead of him into the queue, or when Nagisa ordered some syrupy iced monstrosity in a ridiculous domed plastic cup with a straw. Rei eyed it suspiciously, before ordering a simple milk tea, thankful that it was served in a proper porcelain cup. He pulled out his wallet, fishing for notes to pay for both drinks, and was surprised to see Nagisa already paying for his own. When Nagisa saw him frozen in the act of pulling out his money, he picked up his drink and told Rei, “What? It's not like this is a date or anything.” He moved away and found a table, leaving Rei open-mouthed as the cashier stood impatiently waiting for Rei to get a move on.

At their table, Rei carefully placed his jacket on the back of his chair, loosened his tie a little and rolled up his shirt-cuffs to his elbows. He was acutely aware that he was overdressed for such a place, especially compared to Nagisa's multi-coloured coat and beanie hat. Except Nagisa had now removed his coat to reveal a smart lilac button-down shirt and black waistcoat.

“Do you always dress up so nicely when you're not going out on a date?” Rei sipped his tea to hide a smirk, expecting Nagisa to get embarrassed. Expect Nagisa went and confounded his expectations yet again by beaming back at him.

“You think I look nice? Thanks, Rei-chan!” He raised his cup for a quick “Kanpai!” before taking a long drink. “Good thing we're not on a date, or I'd think you were flirting with me.” Damn. Rei looked away and tried to work out how to react to that.

Fortunately, Nagisa saved him by holding out his cup and offering a taste of his iced coffee. Rei could smell the caramel from across the table. He declined with a polite wave of his hand.

“You're just starting your day. That's technically your breakfast. How can you stomach that?”

Nagisa sucked up another mouthful of of his drink; when he let go of the straw, tiny drops of coffee clung to his lips, and he darted out his tongue to remove them.

“This isn't my breakfast,” he corrected.

“You ate at home? Please tell me it was something sensible.” Rei sipped his tea, delicately, and thought about ordering food, to save him the bother of rustling up something when he got home. It had been a hectic day, and he was definitely feeling hungry.

Nagisa shook his head.

“Nope! I ordered pancakes!”

Sure enough, a few minutes later Nagisa was served a stack of American-style pancakes which caused his eyes to widen in delight. There was at least some fruit on the plate, somewhere under the syrup and powdered sugar, but Rei could not bring himself to approve of Nagisa's choice of meal.

“One of the perks of working night-shifts,” Nagisa said with a grin. “I can eat dessert foods for breakfast and no one knows!”

“I assume your work keeps you very active, if you need all that to start your day.” As the words came out of his mouth, he realised he was probably out of line – what Nagisa ate was really none of his business. But if Nagisa was bothered, he didn't show it.

“I'm always on the go,” Nagisa told him around a mouthful of food. “I mostly do shelf-stacking and cleaning on the night-shifts. Sometimes I work the cash register if it gets really busy, but I'd hate to have to sit still for that long. Night shifts can get boring if you're just serving customers all the time.”

“Is your store busy during the night?” He found himself wondering, for perhaps the first time, why a young man of Nagisa's age was working full-time instead of studying, but wasn't sure of the politest way to ask. His comments about art earlier indicated that he was fairly bright, with opinions on a range of subjects, so it seemed to Rei a little sad that Nagisa was spending his waking hours stacking shelves in the middle of the night.

“Almost as busy as day-time,” Nagisa said. “But the customers are real different. When the students come in, usually before midnight, that's not too bad, because they're usually in groups and they like to talk. But in the early hours, the people are...well, you know. They come in alone, and they don't talk much.”

Rei found Nagisa's observations of people living with AP interesting; at the centre, all his interactions with people were work-related, and as the person in charge, it seemed like everyone else followed his lead, keeping everything polite and to the point. His staff knew he liked them to focus, his transfusion patients were mostly grateful for his work, and the donors were usually keen to get in and out as quickly as possible so never seemed to want to chat with him. He didn't usually socialise with the staff on their breaks, preferring to spend his down-time alone in his office where he could re-charge his mental batteries and review the work still to come. Honestly, Rei had spent part of the day worrying that his not-a-date with Nagisa would be awkward, that he wouldn't have a clue what to talk about. Nagisa's propensity to talk about anything that caught his attention actually made things easier, and fairly soon they were deeply engrossed in a conversation about whether pancakes were better than crepes, until Nagisa suddenly switched topics entirely.

“Tell me how you started working at the IBB,” he asked, as he swiped a finger over the fruit-syrup on his plate and licked it clean. Rei sat back in his chair, taking a moment to process the sudden shift in the conversation. “You said you had a leg-up in your career.”

Surprised that Nagisa actually remembered that, he fidgeted with his glasses as he tried to decide the best way to explain it.

“Well, I met Rin when I was quite young. I wouldn't say we were friends, exactly. Our parents got to know one another when my mother was working on a case related to AP sufferers - ”

“The Samezuka case? Mako-chan told me about that.” Nagisa continued to wipe up the syrup and sugar from his otherwise empty plate, keeping his eyes down.

“Yes, actually.” Rei usually found that talking about Samezuka made people uncomfortable. His own memories were of his mother coming home from work late, exhausted and frequently upset, and of occasional debates over the dinner table about how to deal with AP sufferers trying to integrate with a haemo-typical society. “Rin-san's father approached my mother's legal firm for advice on setting up the IBB. I suppose we got to know each other through our parents. There were various AP awareness events and benefits where our paths crossed.” He took a sip of his tea, which was on the verge of too cold to drink, and tried not to grimace at the taste. He wondered how much to tell Nagisa – was it really his place to talk about Rin's father being killed, and how Rin had taken off for a couple of years to travel and figure out what to do with his life?

“When Rin-san took control of the Matsuoka Medical Group, he was only 20 years old. The board had been handling things up until then, but not particularly well, and the IBB was in danger of closing because of poor management and frankly shocking security failures. He knew that I was studying medicine with a view to specialising in AP research, and basically told me he wanted to put me in charge of the place. He was always firm about how he wanted things to work, and I guess he just had a way of bringing people around to his point of view.” He frowned, just a little, at the memory of Rin trying to ply him with all sorts of favours and gifts and perks to bring him on board. “So I wound up going straight from med school to working as the director of the IBB. Of course, I have assistance from the MMG – I take my directions from them – but they consult me on matters of best practise for their newer centres around the country, and the day-to-day running of the place is mine to manage.” Rei allowed himself a prideful smile, pleased to see that Nagisa looked impressed.

“I don't think I could ever do that,” Nagisa responded after a few moments of silence.

“Do what?”

“Such a big, responsible job. There's a supervisor position coming up at work and the manager wants me to apply for it, but I don't think I could.”

“Why ever not?” Rei looked up as a waiter cleared Nagisa's empty plate, and wished he'd ordered himself something to eat. The smell of fruit syrup wafted by as the plate was lifted, and it made his stomach rumble faintly.

Across the table, Nagisa began twisting his fingers together, suddenly looking uneasy.

“It's just not for me. Sometimes I have to rearrange my shifts at short-notice, or start later than the other night-shift staff. Being a supervisor would make it harder for me to do that. Plus I don't know if I want to stay there much longer.” He grinned, but this time there wasn't much humour in it. “I guess I get bored easily.”

Rei had a feeling there was something more to Nagisa's reluctance than he was letting on, but couldn't bring himself to ask. This was, after all, only his second time ever talking to Nagisa, and he wasn't sure if it was okay for him to ask about personal stuff. He resolved to save the question for next time, then wondered what it meant that he was hoping for a 'next time'.

He found himself an equal mix of disappointed and relieved when Nagisa announced that it was time for him to head to work. This time, Rei made sure to reach out and open the door for Nagisa, who thanked him with a sly smile and what might have even been a wink. Out on the street, they stood awkwardly, Rei trying not to shiver in the cool night air.

“I'm going this way,” Nagisa told him, pointing in the direction of the store, the opposite direction Rei planned to go.

“I'm heading back in the direction of the IBB.”

“Oh man, you probably do live in your office!” Nagisa giggled and shook his head. Rei tried not to scowl at him.

“I do not live in my office.” Funny how he'd reverted so quickly to sounding like the first time he'd spoken to Nagisa, when he'd been coerced into going for coffee. He was coming to realise that Nagisa's teasing was usually meant to be light-hearted, and didn't like the way he automatically responded to it.

They stood for a few moments more, Rei not quite looking at Nagisa.

“This wasn't a date,” Rei reminded him when he realised Nagisa seemed to be waiting for something. “If you're expecting a goodnight kiss, then I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you.”

Nagisa shrugged.

“I wasn't expecting one.”

“Good.”

“Because this wasn't a date.” Nagisa shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels.

“That's right.”

“Next time we go for coffee, though, that'll be a date.” Nagisa's smile was far more innocent than it had any right to be. Rei's eyes widened at his assertion. “And then you'll kiss me. But not this time. Because you're a gentleman. And this wasn't a date.” And Nagisa turned and started walking away. As Rei watched, dumbstruck, Nagisa looked back over his shoulder and waved. “Bye, Rei-chan!”

When Rei got back to the centre, he decided to make a detour via his office. At his desk, he opened up the receptionist's appointments calendar, skipping ahead by four weeks. Then he opened his own day-planner, an old-fashioned leather-bound book which took up a fair amount of space on his desk, and flipped through the pages to check certain dates. 

After deliberating for maybe a minute, Rei picked up the telephone, dialled for an outside line, then called a very familiar number.

“Rin-san? I hope I didn't wake you...Oh, good...No, everything's fine. I was just checking my calendar, and it looks like I might have to rearrange Nitori-kun's next appointment...No, still for the same day. I was just hoping that you'd be able to bring him in later in the day. Say, seven in the evening?...Wonderful. I'll have my PA send an appointment card to confirm it. Thank you, Rin-san...sorry! Thank you, Rin.”


	8. Nagisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa's father visits the IBB; Nagisa gets an unexpected call; not-not-a-date.

Nagisa blinked sleepily in the bright light of afternoon, and tried to hold back a yawn. The bus was already pulling away as Hazuki Isamu stood at the stop, trying to catch his breath.

“Ready?” Nagisa asked, when he decided his dad looked like he could walk again. He nodded and smiled, declining when Nagisa offered his arm. Instead, he leaned heavily on his walking stick. Fortunately, it wasn't much of a walk from the bus stop to the IBB, but Nagisa's father was still breathing heavily again by the time they got there, insisting on waiting outside a while to compose himself before they went inside. Checking his pockets for the slim bulge of his wallet, Nagisa decided they were definitely going to take a taxi back home.

Inside, Nagisa sat with his father during the initial health screening and haemoglobin test; they both watched in dismay as the drop of blood sank smoothly to the bottom of the vial. Nagisa didn't look at his father's face, but he could sense the uneasiness as the nurse announced that he would be able to donate again today. The nurse helped Nagisa's father out to the donor ward, leaving Nagisa to wander along to the rest area to wait.

He smiled at a porter he recognised from his last visit, and took a seat at the edge of the room. It would be a long wait – his dad always took a while to recover enough to sit up after his donations – and Nagisa was tempted to curl up in his chair and nap, but decided he didn't want to deal with the embarrassment of being woken by one of the staff. His sisters, when they still lived at home, delighted in reminding him that he tended to mumble and drool in his sleep, and he didn't want to risk Makoto or, even worse, Rei, seeing him like that. So instead he flicked through one of the out-of-date magazines left out for donors.

He was halfway through an interview with an idol singer his sisters liked when he heard a familiar voice call his name.

“Mako-chan, hi!” He closed the magazine and tossed it back on to the nearby table, waving hello as the phlebotomist headed his way.

“Is everything okay?” Makoto sat down in a chair opposite his, saving him the trouble of craning his neck to look him in the eye. “It's less than a week since you last donated.”

“I'm fine,” Nagisa assured him, before yawning. “Sleepy, maybe, but fine. My dad's donating today. Usually my mom brings him, but she had to go into work because somebody else called in sick. So here I am!” He yawned again. “Luckily I'm not working tonight, so I can sleep for longer when I get home.”

Makoto frowned, then stood and went over to the refreshment stand. When he came back, he handed Nagisa a Kit-Kat.

“I can't! I'm not donating today.” Nagisa realised that he must not have been feeling himself if he was turning down free food. Makoto just pressed the pack into his hand.

“I'm sure we can spare one.” Makoto smiled warmly, and Nagisa couldn't help but return it. “It's tough having to be up and about when you're usually sleeping, huh? I've covered my share of night shifts when we've been short-staffed, so I know how you must feel.”

As Nagisa ate, Makoto updated him on how the centre was running that day, pointing out staff that Nagisa might recognise. When Nagisa was done licking chocolate from his fingers, Makoto glanced around as if checking to see if they might be overheard, then leaned in and spoke in a much lower voice. 

“So the word on the ward is that Dr Ryuugazaki was seen leaving the centre on Sunday evening with a blonde man in a coat much like yours. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?”

Surprised that Makoto would be interested in workplace gossip, Nagisa let loose a burst of laughter, before hiding his face in his hands.

“Does everyone know?” he asked, looking around to see if anyone was watching him.

“You picked him up from work and took him on a date,” Makoto pointed out. “That's probably the most exciting thing that's happened here all year!”

“It wasn't a date!” he protested, in a voice that was far louder than it should have been. He cursed himself for his exuberance, and continued in hushed tones. “It was not a date. We were perfectly clear on that point. I felt bad for pushing him into coming out with us the night before – I didn't realise that he and Haru-chan wouldn't get along, and I wanted to say sorry.”

He noted Makoto's brief frown, but it didn't linger.

“Well, either way, Dr Ryuugazaki went out after work with a younger man. He never does anything outside of work that isn't somehow still related to work, at least as far as we know.”

“Really?” Makoto nodded. “That's kind of sad.”

“He goes to benefits and work parties sometimes, but that's about it.” Makoto pressed a finger to his lips, looking thoughtful. “It'll be interesting to see if he changes at all if he starts dating someone.”

“We're not dating,” Nagisa insisted. Honestly, that hadn't been his intention when he invited Rei for coffee, but the idea was rather exciting.

“You'd like to though, wouldn't you?” Makoto asked, as if he could read Nagisa's thoughts. All Nagisa could do was blush and hide his face again.

Before Makoto could embarrass him any further, Nagisa noticed his father being escorted into the rest area by a porter. He jumped out of his seat to help, his earlier tiredness forgotten as he switched places with the porter to take his father's elbow and lead him to a seat. He settled the walking stick against the wall beside him, then darted over to the refreshment stand and requested a cup of coffee and a chocolate bar. When he looked back, Makoto was already chatting with his father, and Nagisa was pleased to see his dad smiling.

As Nagisa's father carefully sipped his coffee, Makoto announced that his break was almost over and he ought to get back to work. Nagisa felt a little guilty for monopolising all Makoto's free time, but Makoto always seemed to enjoy talking to him, so he wasn't sure how to apologise for it.

Before he left, Makoto suggested that the two of them hang out again sometime when their schedules lined up; Nagisa promised to call so they could pick a day to meet up.

As they made their slow way down the corridor towards reception, Nagisa realised his father was still smiling.

“Your friend seems nice,” he told Nagisa, who smiled in agreement. “I'm glad you're making friends.”

Somehow that made Nagisa's throat tighten, and he had to look away.

“I'll call for a taxi when we get to reception,” he told his father, in a voice that felt small and constricted. “I'll pay.” He half expected his father to protest at the expense; instead, he quietly thanked Nagisa.

At reception, Nagisa first pulled out his phone and called to request a taxi, then stepped up to the desk to confirm his father's next appointment. When he was offered a choice of three possible dates, Nagisa asked for the furthest away, giving Isamu a full five weeks before he had to return. He put the appointment card into his pocket and was just about to steer his dad towards a seat while they waited when, for the second time that afternoon, someone called his name.

Rei had just walked into reception. Instead of his usual white coat, he was wearing a suit with an embroidered waistcoat, and was carrying a stack of papers clipped together.

“Rei-chan!” Rei was already smiling at him, albeit with a hint of surprise, and Nagisa automatically smiled back.

“What are you doing here? You're not scheduled to donate for another three-and-a-half weeks. Is  
everything okay?”

“I'm fine, Rei-chan,” he laughed, deciding it was nice to have people be concerned about him. “I'm just here with my dad. He had his donation today.”

Nagisa turned to introduce his father to Rei, but was surprised to see Isamu already standing behind him, holding himself as straight and tall as he could, with his walking stick in both hands, almost like a weapon.

“And how does my son happen to be on first-name-terms with the director of the Iwatobi Blood Bank?” It was said in the tone of voice Nagisa only ever heard when he or one of his sisters was about to be grounded. “Has he been in some sort of trouble?”

Unsure how to respond, Nagisa looked between Rei and his father. He couldn't even be certain which one of them his father was talking to; his questions could have been aimed at the receptionist, for all the formal disdain in his voice.

It seemed Rei was equally thrown, giving Nagisa no choice but to answer.

“Dr Ryuugazaki and I have talked a few times, dad,” he explained, with a feeling that mentioning their not-a-date probably wouldn't help matters. “You know how it is – you go to a place often enough and you get to know the people who work there.” He saw his father's expression sour, and moved to put himself between the two men before either of them could speak again. “Our taxi will be here soon, dad. Let's head outside so we can see when it gets here.”

His father began to turn away, when Rei had to go and open his mouth.

“Hazuki-san...if travelling home after a donation is a problem for you, I can always have one of our ambulances take you home.”

The look Nagisa's father gave Rei could have frozen a hot-spring. Nagisa wanted to hug Rei for his kindness and slap him for his obliviousness at the same time.

“I am perfectly capable of making my own way home, Dr Ryuugazaki.”

Nagisa risked an apologetic look back at Rei, before he followed his father outside.

They didn't speak at all during the journey. When they reached the house, Nagisa's father insisted on climbing out of the taxi without assistance, making a show of paying the driver with the biggest bill in his wallet and he practically stomped up to the house as the cab pulled away.

Once they were inside, Nagisa waited for his father's anger, for a demand that he have nothing more to do with Rei. Instead, he watched his father sag visibly from the effort of trying to walk without his cane.

In a quiet voice, Nagisa asked his father if he might want some tea or something to eat. His father just shook his head and shuffled off in the direction of his bedroom.

Uncertain what to do with himself for the rest of the day, Nagisa ended up sprawled on the couch, flicking aimlessly through TV channels. He was too wired to sleep properly, but also too physically exhausted to concentrate on anything longer than a commercial.

At some point he must have nodded off, and was roused by the sound of his phone ringing. He realised his mother must have returned home from work, as he was covered up with a blanket and there was the distinct smell of miso coming from the kitchen. He fumbled for his phone, which was jammed deep in his pocket, and frowned at the unknown number displayed on the screen.

He answered with a cautious “Hello?”, hating the way his voice sounded groggy and confused.

“Uh...Nagisa-kun?” Rei's voice was hesitant down the line, and Nagisa felt a fleeting rush of panic, wondering why Rei might be calling.

“Rei-chan? Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” Rei answered, although he certainly didn't sound that way. “That is, things are fine here. But I wanted to check if things were okay with you. And, um, your father. I'm sorry if I offended him this afternoon. I sincerely wanted to help – I guess I didn't think about the implications of my offer.”

“It's fine, Rei-chan. You didn't do anything wrong.”

“I mean, how would it look to your neighbours if you were brought home in an ambulance? After all - ”

“Rei-chan!” he hissed, desperate to cut him off without attracting his mother's attention. “It's fine. It was nice of you to offer to help. Dad's just...” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “It's complicated.”

He heard Rei breathe a sigh of relief.

“So,” Nagisa continued when Rei remained silent, “how did you get my number?”

“From Makoto-san. Was that okay? I told him I needed to discuss something regarding your next appointment, and then he pointed out that your number was probably in your patient file anyway, but he had his phone with him and showed me your number because he said it would be quicker than looking it up in the records, and - ”

“Rei-chan!” This time, Nagisa was laughing as he interrupted. “It's fine! It saves me from having to ask Mako-chan to find out your number.”

“Oh. Well. Okay then.”

“So, Rei-chan. When should we have that date?” He pictured Rei spluttering and almost dropping his phone, and smiled.

“Nagisa-kun, I'm not certain it's entirely appropriate for me to - ”

“Mako-chan says everyone thinks we're dating already.”

“What?”

“Don't worry. Mako-chan was happy about it. He says you don't go out much after work.”

“What?”

“Rei-chan, did you enjoy going out the other night?”

“Well, yes, but - ”

“Rei-chan, do you have plans for this Saturday evening?”

“Well, no, but - ”

“Rei-chan, would you like to go to a movie with me on Saturday?”

“Nagisa-kun, I - ”

Nagisa sighed. Rei was proving to be far more stubborn than he'd anticipated.

“Rei-chan. I like you. And you asked one of your employees for my number and called to check that my dad was okay. I'm going to assume that means you like me too, at least a little. I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just asking if you want to spend a couple of hours with me on Saturday night.” He took a deep breath, realising he was possibly pushing his luck. “If you say no this time, then I promise I won't ask you again. But I would like to go see a movie on Saturday, and I would like you to come with me. What do you say?”

There was silence down the line for a few seconds, and Nagisa realised this might have been the bravest thing he'd ever done.

“Yes.”

He fought the urge to punch the air and whoop with delight.

“Awesome,” he told Rei, certain that his smile was evident in his voice. “What time do you finish work?”

They made their plans to meet, and Nagisa was still smiling when he hung up the phone. After a moment, he gave in and punched the air, letting out a giddy little squeal, quickly restraining himself when his mother walked into the living room.

“That sounded like good news,” she said with a tired smile, wiping her hands on her apron.

“It kinda was,” he told her, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He didn't complain when she asked him to help with dinner, and even went so far as to fold up the blanket she'd draped over him before heading into the kitchen.

The thought of his definitely-a-date fizzed away in Nagisa's brain for the rest of the week, making time drag by so painfully slowly that it made his insides ache. He'd managed to swap his shifts around so that he was working midnight to eight, when a delivery was due in the early hours; his body would regret it afterwards, he knew, but it meant he had an entire evening with Rei.

As planned, he met Rei at the cinema instead of at the IBB, neither of them keen to encourage any more gossip amongst the staff. The cinema in Iwatobi was an old two-screen place which didn't do much business since the opening of a flashy multiplex in the next town, but managed to draw crowds with screenings of older films. Their options were a cheesy romance or a cheesy black-and-white sci-fi. Nagisa would probably have watched the romance if it came on TV, with a table full of snack foods and a box of tissues, but he got the feeling it would have been too much for his date with Rei, so they settled on the cheesy sci-fi, with Nagisa promising that it would probably be funny if nothing else.

It didn't surprise him at all that Rei huffed and pouted at every ridiculous thing that happened in the movie, muttering about how illogical it all was. Nagisa got as much enjoyment from watching Rei as he did from the film itself. Plus Rei wasn't interested in sharing his popcorn, so Nagisa got the entire tub to himself.

As soon as the house lights came back on, Rei launched into a detailed deconstruction of the movie and its many faults, and Nagisa only teased him a little by defending the hero and his brave rescue mission and the dodgy special effects. It kept them talking all the way to a nearby noodle bar, where Rei was so intent on complaining about the film that he never once complained about the cheap food or the overly sweet tea he was served.

By the time they'd finished their meal and had headed back out into the night, Rei had finally run out of things to complain about. Nagisa was certain it was the most fun he'd had in a long time. They had almost reached the store where Nagisa worked, when Rei eventually fell quiet for an entire minute. Remembering what he'd said about them dating and him getting a goodnight kiss, Nagisa felt a sudden tension between them that he didn't particularly like.

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei began, with hesitation in his voice. “I know we said this was a date, and I know what you said about the end of our first date. But I feel I should be honest with you.”

Nagisa felt his face flush, and hoped that if Rei could see it, he would assume it was just from the cold night air.

“You're going to tell me it's not appropriate for you to date a donor, right?” Nagisa kicked at a few fallen leaves that littered the pavement.

“Well, there is that to consider,” Rei replied, adjusting his glasses. “But actually, that's not what I was going to say.” He sighed, and his hands slipped into his pockets, making him look suddenly different from the put-together doctor that Nagisa was used to seeing. “The truth is, I'm not sure I actually want a romantic relationship. With anyone, not just you specifically. It's all rather complicated, you see – I've always been devoted to my career, first and foremost, and I'm not sure I could commit to a relationship.”

Nagisa looked up at Rei, trying to see past the streetlights reflected in the lenses of his glasses. Rei's eyes were lowered, not quite meeting Nagisa's gaze.

“Rei-chan. I like you. I like spending time with you, and talking to you, and listening to you talk. I'd like to go on more dates with you, and I'd kind of like to kiss you.” He could feel the warmth in his cheeks, and the nervous bubble in his stomach, but ploughed right on, figuring that bravery had got him this far so he might as well stick with it. “My life is kind of complicated too – I work nights, you work days, and I've got family stuff that keeps me from doing a lot of stuff I'd like to. I'm not asking you for a relationship. A relationship is like years and years and huge big things that I can't even comprehend right now. I'm just asking for right now.”

“It's not that simple, Nagisa-kun.” Rei huffed a breath through his nose.

Nagisa stepped closer, grasping the lapels of Rei's jacket with both hands.

“Can't we make it simple?” he whispered. “Can't we just have something that's about right now? Right now, all I want is to think that I might get to see you again next weekend, and that we can go for coffee or just go for a walk, and right now I really want to kiss you.” He saw Rei open his mouth to speak again, and pushed on before Rei had a chance. “Can you give me a reason why, right now, you can't kiss me?”

To his credit, Rei actually looked like he was thinking about it. Which kind of made it even more exciting when he finally looked Nagisa in the eye and breathed, “No, I can't.”

As kisses went, it wasn't terrible. The angle was awkward, with Rei so much taller than him, and Rei's lips were dry and the tip of his nose was cold when it pressed against Nagisa's cheek, but somehow they managed to fit themselves together, with Nagisa's arms looped around Rei's neck, and Rei's hands spread flat over Nagisa's back. Nagisa wished he wasn't wearing his coat, so that he could feel Rei's hands better, but he'd take what he was given. When they separated, Nagisa was smiling, and Rei even managed a quiet little chuckle.

“See?” Nagisa told him, bumping his nose against Rei's, “right now, this is enough.” It was cheesy and silly, but Rei was smiling, and Nagisa knew that when he got to work he wouldn't be able to concentrate on a damn thing all night.


	9. Nagisa

Halloween was over, Nagisa had been given three whole days off to recover from the busiest shift he'd ever worked, and his next donation was scheduled for the following evening. He was currently sprawled diagonally across his bed, working his way through a bag of discounted Halloween candy from the store and having a text message conversation with Rei.

So far they'd had another two dates; one trip to a cafe that Nagisa insisted made the best chocolate fudge cake, and one meal at a restaurant (dinner for Rei, breakfast for Nagisa) because Rei insisted on Nagisa eating some real food once in a while. They'd talked about everything from films (Rei was a fan of Osu Yosujiro, while Nagisa enjoyed anything that could make him scream, cry or laugh out loud) to developing treatments for AP (Rei was excited to share that the MMG was investing heavily in new research into a possible cure) to Halloween in Iwatobi (Nagisa was surprised to find that Rei thought some of the costumes he'd seen that year particularly beautiful). They had held hands on the walk to the restaurant, and Nagisa had fed Rei a bite of his chocolate cake, and it had all been tremendous fun. But Rei hadn't kissed him. Not since that first time. Nagisa was definitely having fun spending time with Rei, and always looked forward to seeing him, and was fairly certain Rei enjoyed his company just as much. Rei always smiled when he saw Nagisa, didn't shy away when Nagisa nudged their knees together under tables or bumped their shoulders together as they walked, and they already had plans for a fourth date.

It ought to have been wonderful. Nagisa hadn't been lying when he'd told Rei he didn't want anything serious. Sometimes it was fun to daydream about being domestic with someone he loved, waking up together, cooking breakfast for each other, cuddling on a couch and all that stuff, but he knew better than to get caught up in a fantasy that would never work out. He always had to be prepared to have to change his shifts at short notice, or to take over looking after the house if his mother got called into work or if his father was having a particularly tough day. He didn't want to be the one cancelling plans, and his parents would definitely struggle without his donor allowance coming in every month.

But still, there were times when Nagisa wanted to do something crazy, like skip work and spend all night with Rei watching the stars from the beach, or take Rei to the train station and get on the first train that came with only a single ticket each and see where they ended up. And he definitely wanted to kiss Rei again. More than once.

He signed off from his conversation with Rei and set an alarm for 5.30, a little shocked to see that it only gave him a little over five hours' sleep, assuming he nodded off within the next half hour. He was very much aware that time off work put his sleep patterns off-track, and with just over twenty-four hours to go before his next shift, he needed to be careful not to let them get too out of hand. He'd spent most of his morning talking to both Rei and Makoto via text message when he should really have properly gone to bed hours ago. But there was sunlight streaming through his window, and the world outside was so noisily carrying on without him, that in the end it took sheer exhaustion to get him to fall asleep.

When his alarm jolted him out of a rather pleasant dream, he dragged himself out of bed feeling groggy and unsatisfied, and stayed too long in the shower trying to come round. He barely had time to eat, and ended up running to catch a bus to make his monthly donor appointment in time.

He checked in at the IBB reception feeling sweaty and flustered, and had to wipe his forehead dry with the sleeve of his sweater. His donation left him feeling a little light-headed, no doubt because he hadn't eaten a decent meal beforehand, and he was on to his third cookie when he heard Rei's voice from the doorway.

“Nagisa-kun! I didn't know you would be here today!” The obvious lie confused Nagisa, and he looked around to see Rei winking at him. He stood with his hands on the shoulders of a boy around Nagisa's age, although the boy was wearing clothes more suited to a middle-aged man – shirt buttoned up to the neck, wool trousers, expensive-looking polished shoes, even a bow-tie. He seemed almost unaware of Rei, preoccupied instead with a digital camera on a strap around his neck. 

“Nitori-kun, say hello to Nagisa-kun.”

“Hello, Nagisa-kun.” Nitori's eyes did not meet Nagisa's. 

“Nagisa-kun is a regular donor, and...well, a very good friend of mine.” Rei steered Nitori to where Nagisa was sitting, and gave him a discrete shove to get him to drop into a chair. “Nagisa-kun, this is Nitori Aichiirou, a patient of mine.” There was something odd about the way Rei said 'patient', and Nagisa made a mental note to ask him about it later. For now, he smiled widely at Nitori.

“Hi, Aichiirou-chan! Um, that's a mouthful. How about...Ai-chan? Hi, Ai-chan!”

Finally Nitori looked directly at him, and Nagisa was surprised to see uncertainty on his face where there had only been blank disinterest before.

“Rin and Sousuke call me Ai,” he said, doubt in his voice as if he'd never considered that anyone else might want to give him a nickname. Nagisa looked up at Rei for an explanation, but Rei seemed as confused as he was.

“Nitori-kun, I have to attend to something in my office. Do you think you'll be alright waiting here with Nagisa-kun for a few minutes?” If Nitori had any objections, he didn't voice them, and if Nagisa had any, one look at Rei's pleading expression soon made them seem unimportant.

“I can look after Ai-chan,” Nagisa conceded, to Rei's obvious relief.

“Nitori-kun, why don't you go get some juice and cookies for you and Nagisa-kun?” Nitori obediently stood and went over to the refreshment stand, leaving Rei to sigh and lean over the back of his vacated chair. “Thank you, Nagisa-kun,” he whispered.

“No problem, Rei-chan. But you owe me an explanation. And maybe a kiss?” Nagisa winked, pleased when Rei blushed in response. “Can I come see you in your office later?”

For a moment Rei looked like he might object, claiming it 'inappropriate' or something, but eventually he relented.

“After Nitori-kun has left with Rin-san and Sousuke-san,” he allowed with a shy smile. “Thank you, Nagisa-kun. It won't be for long.”

Rei said a quick goodbye to Nitori, who barely glanced up as he left, instead sitting back down and poking a straw into his juice box, before remembering to hand the second one to Nagisa.

“Wait,” Nagisa spluttered as Rei's words finally caught up with him. “Rin-san and – you don't mean Matsuoka Rin?” But Rei was gone, leaving only Nitori to nod. “How do you know Matsuoka Rin?”

“Rin is my lover,” Nitori answered, although from the flatness of his voice he might as well have said Rin was his neighbour. Nagisa knew he was gawping, and it took him several seconds to get his thoughts in order. Meanwhile, Nitori was carefully unwrapping a chocolate bar, delicately peeling back the foil and nibbling at an exposed corner.

“Matsuoka Rin is your...”

“Lover,” Nitori finished when Nagisa couldn't. “And Sousuke. I live with them.”

Nagisa fidgeted with his juice box, trying to figure out how best to deal with the information. Deciding he just couldn't right then, he sought instead for something else to talk about.

“Cool camera,” he said, gesturing to the complex-looking Nikon in Nitori's lap. “Are you a photographer?”

That got Nitori's attention, and he looked at Nagisa, perplexed, before answering slowly, “I'm learning.”

“What sort of stuff do you like to photograph?” He shuffled closer, hoping to get a look at the camera while Nitori adjusted the lens and fiddled with various buttons.

“Little things.” Nitori pressed a few more buttons, making the camera's screen glow faintly. Before Nagisa could ask for clarification, Nitori turned the camera to show him the screen, currently displaying a photo of some leaves. Nagisa squinted at the image, and suddenly a gap in the leaves became a bird, hidden almost completely from view, but with one beady black eye looking directly at the camera. Nitori pressed a button and the image changed to a picture of a tiny green frog on a rock, by the side of a garden pond. It looked as though the picture had been taken at twilight; the background was mostly greys, but small artificial lights glowed at the edges of the frame.

With Nitori's wordless consent, Nagisa took the camera and scrolled through the pictures. Although he knew practically nothing about photography, he could see a progression in the quality of the images – bland shots of a garden at dusk became tightly focused close-ups of flowers, insects and autumn foliage. There were night-time shots that looked like they'd been taken from the window of a moving vehicle, with blurred streaks of neon on black. After those, a few grainy photos of what could have been Nitori's bedroom; a cluttered desk, a bed with tangled sheets, a tall window with sunlight just visible around the edges of the curtain.

“These are really good,” Nagisa told him, ignoring the faint sense of unease he'd picked up from the brief glimpse into Nitori's life. “Are you taking a class in photography?”

Nitori frowned and told him “No,” as if it should have been obvious. “Sousuke bought me a book. I'm teaching myself.” He took back the camera and slipped the strap over his head. Then, almost as an after-thought, he held up the camera and snapped a picture of Nagisa; the flash left blinking dots floating in front of Nagisa's eyes for a few moments afterwards. Across the room, one of the nurses looked about to protest, but stopped when they saw who had caused the sudden flash of light.

For a brief second Nagisa wanted to be irritated by the unexpected action, but he realised that it was the first time he'd seen Nitori do something that hadn't been prompted by someone else. 

“You didn't give me chance to get ready,” he said with a grin, quickly running a hand through his hair in a futile attempt to tame it. “Try another,” he suggested, and Nitori dutifully held up the camera. He scowled at Nagisa's pose, but clicked the shutter anyway.

An idea struck Nagisa, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket, thumbing open the camera app.

“Let me get one of you,” he said. When Nitori made no attempt to pose, Nagisa rolled his eyes before shifting to crouch by Nitori's chair. He turned the phone to face the two of them, side-by-side, made a peace sign with his free hand, and instructed Nitori to “smile, Ai-chan!” before taking the picture.

“Cute!” he declared when he examined the photo, ignoring Nitori's startled expression beside his own wide grin. “Want me to send it to you so you have a copy?”

“How would you do that?”

Nagisa tried not to roll his eyes again.

“You do have a phone, right?”

“Yes. Rin gave me one so he could call me when he was away on business.” Nagisa gestured with an open hand for Nitori's phone, which he reluctantly removed from his pocket. It looked pristine, and didn't require any sort of pass code to unlock; Nagisa wondered if it even had any numbers stored in it besides Rin's. With a few taps, he'd located Nitori's number, and used it to send the photo from his own phone. A few seconds later, Nitori's phone displayed a message alert, and Nagisa showed him how to open and save the image.

“See? Now you'll always remember the first time you met me, Ai-chan!”

“Please don't call me Ai-chan.” It was barely a mumble, and even as he said it, he looked up, distracted by the sound of several people entering the room.

Rei had returned, accompanied by two of the most striking-looking men Nagisa had ever seen. Matsuoka Rin was easily recognisable. He wasn't really a celebrity, but he made the local news often enough that Nagisa knew him straight away; his youthful face and long hair made him stand out from the crowd regardless of his fame. The other man, taller and broader and lacking Rin's easy smile, would have to be Sousuke, he guessed. They were both dressed like they'd come straight from a magazine fashion shoot, but their faces were a little too flushed and their eyes a little too wide and bright, and Nagisa found himself speechless in their presence. It didn't help that Nitori had dashed over to greet them with enthusiastic hugs, and was currently being cuddled close to Sousuke's chest like a kitten just come in from the cold.

“Sorry we kept you waiting, Ai,” Rin said, smiling fondly at him. “I hope you weren't too lonely.”

“I talked to Nagisa-kun,” he said, sounding a little guilty, and Nagisa couldn't help but notice the surprised looks that Rin and Sousuke exchanged. When the two of them looked at Nagisa, he found himself frozen under their intense gazes. He tried to tell himself that it was simply being in the presence of someone so well-known, someone physically so much bigger than him, but Nagisa wasn't usually the type to feel nervous around strangers, and he didn't like the way they made him feel.

“Nagisa,” Rin nodded his head by way of hello. Sousuke arched one eyebrow, but said nothing. “Thanks for looking after our little Ai.” 

Nagisa tried to answer, but couldn't even get the words lined up right in his head. All he could manage was a bob of his head and a sound that might have been “mmhmm!” Either way, Rin seemed to accept it, turning from him to hold a brief whispered conversation with Rei, before he and his companions turned and left. Nitori turned to look at Nagisa over his shoulder for a moment, before the three of them disappeared from view; Nagisa felt his shoulders sag, as if he'd been carrying something heavy and had just set it down.

Clearly his relief was evident, because Rei was watching him anxiously. He gestured for Nagisa to follow him, and it took far more effort than it should to stand and follow him down the corridor.

Inside Rei's office, the first thing Nagisa noticed was the canvas hanging on the wall, positioned so that Rei could see it whenever he sat at his desk. The painting was clearly one of Haru's, and Nagisa wondered if Haru knew that Rei liked to admire his art when he was working.

As Rei busied himself with filing a few papers, Nagisa wandered around the room, taking stock of the space where Rei spent so much of his time. There wasn't much in the way of decoration, besides the painting and a small framed photograph on the desk of what must have been Rei's family, and to the casual observer it might have seemed as if the office was rather cold and impersonal. But Nagisa knew that the books and charts and diagrams on display were personal to Rei – they were the things he enjoyed.

Nagisa hopped up on to the examination bench and let his legs swing back and forth, before asking Rei, “What's the deal with Ai-chan?”

He watched several different expressions flit across Rei's face as he figured out the best way to explain.

“It's rather complicated,” was the inevitably disappointing answer. Nagisa rolled his eyes and gestured for Rei to continue. “I believe the term is 'polyamory', or perhaps 'polyfidelity', although - ”

“They're vampires and Ai-chan is their blood-bag, right?”

“Nagisa-kun!” Rei scowled, then sighed. “Your terminology is not entirely appropriate, but I suppose that is one way of describing their...arrangement.”

“You don't approve?”

“Whether I approve or not is irrelevant. Nitori-kun is an adult, and was when he began living with Rin-san and Sousuke-san. He consents to the arrangement, and his monthly check-ups indicate that he is in acceptable physical health.”

“So why did you need me to babysit him?”

Having finished his filing and tidying, Rei sat down in the plush leather chair behind his desk, and swivelled the seat to face Nagisa.

“Nitori-kun spends a lot of time alone. When Rin-san is away on business, Nitori-kun stays home, often by himself. He has very little interaction with other people, and that isolation isn't healthy. I'm trying to encourage him to talk to people more, to expand his social interactions beyond the people in his house. Honestly, his social skills are...less than ideal.”

“You mean, he's not the sharpest crayon in the box.” He smiled at Rei's cross look.

“Once again your analogy is harsh but accurate.”

“So why me? I mean, I don't mind, I like talking to people. But honestly, I don't think I'd be a good influence on anyone.” He flashed an impish grin.

Across the room, Rei ducked his head, but Nagisa could see his oddly fond smile.

“Nagisa-kun, you have a way of...bringing people out of themselves. Really, I've never met anyone quite so persistent as you when it comes to befriending people.”

Nagisa could feel his face flushing hotly, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure how to respond. In the face of his unexpected silence, Rei stood and crossed to stand in front of him.

“I meant that as a compliment,” he assured Nagisa. “After all, you won me over.” Rei's hands closed around his upper arms, and Nagisa found himself looking up into Rei's eyes, wishing he could say something but unable to form even a single sentence with Rei so close and looking at him so adoringly. “And now that I've explained, I suppose I should pay the rest of my debt.” 

When Rei kissed him, it was soft and careful and left Nagisa light-headed. Rei looked back at him with too-bright eyes, and Nagisa touched a finger to his own lips, as if he could press the memory of Rei's mouth on his there until the next time they kissed.

Rei sighed, and turned away with regret colouring his face.

“I have a meeting in a few minutes,” he told Nagisa, who slipped off the examination bench and moved to stand behind him, slipping both arms around Rei's middle and pressing his cheek to Rei's back.

“I could stay,” he told Rei. “I'd probably fit in your filing cabinet. I could hide in the bottom drawer, no one would know, and then I'd still be here when you finish work.”

He felt Rei chuckle, before his big hands carefully unclasped Nagisa's from the front of his white coat.

“Or I could take you out on Friday evening like we agreed, and then I can spend the rest of the week until then looking forward to seeing you again.” He turned, still holding Nagisa's hands.

Nagisa frowned.

“Hmm. I like my plan better. But I guess yours will have to do.” He grinned up at Rei, then went up on tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on the corner of Rei's mouth.

“Thank you for talking to Nitori-kun.”

“Thank you for letting me see your office.”

“Nagisa-kun, I really do have work to tend to.”

“I know,” he pouted. “I'm just trying to see how much longer I can stay until you get annoyed enough to kick me out.

He did eventually leave of his own accord, but only after two more kisses and Rei's promise to send him a goodnight text message. He signed out at the front desk, ignoring the receptionist's salacious smile, and walked home, as if his earlier lethargy had been entirely imaginary.


	10. Nagisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa spends time with Ai and learns a few things; a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I was doing fairly well at updating regularly, but then I went and fell ill. I'm slowly getting back on my feet, and hopefully I can get back into updating this more frequently.

It wasn't very often that Nagisa missed being in school – he'd figured during his second year of high school that a diploma wouldn't be of much use if he wasn't actually going to university, so he'd taken the first full-time job that came along and never even started third year. But he was beginning to think that he could easily write an entire essay about the life and history of one Nitori Aichiirou, complete with illustrations, footnotes and appendices.

Not that Ai talked that much. But every now and then he would let slip some tantalising little detail that Nagisa just had to pick at until Ai, in his tremulous little voice, had given up enough information for Nagisa to piece a fascinatingly scandalous story together.

At Rei's urging, Nagisa had exchanged a few text messages with Ai before eventually inviting him out for an afternoon on one of his days off. With winter setting in, Nagisa's shifts at the store were changing to accommodate the earlier onset of darkness – as more people came outdoors in the evenings, Nagisa was usually part of the first night shift, working from four until midnight, with a second team scheduled to work midnight through to eight, as the darker mornings also means some AP sufferers stayed out later. It was a pain having to adjust his sleep schedule, but it did mean that he got to go out in the afternoons and catch the last of the sunlight, and on his scheduled days off he could even get out during the day like a regular person.

He was currently wandering around an arcade near the beach, sipping hot chocolate from a take-out cup and watching Ai freak out at his third successive win on a crane game. Ai was useless at most video games, he'd discovered – he didn't like the noise, and couldn't keep up with the frenetic actions – but something about his dreamy demeanour meant that he could focus like a hawk when it came to crane games, provided Nagisa didn't distract him by cheering for him. What Ai seemed to enjoy most was taking pictures of the things they saw and did. He had his camera strung around his neck once more, and snapped photos of Nagisa playing games, and of the prizes he'd won, and of the food they bought, explaining each time that he would show the pictures to Rin and Sousuke when he got home.

During their afternoon together, Nagisa had learned (in a very roundabout way) that Ai had been living with Rin and Sousuke for almost two years, ever since he'd graduated high school, making him a surprising two years older than Nagisa. He'd learned that Ai had a mother and a father somewhere in Iwatobi who sent him birthday presents through the mail because they didn't like to visit Rin's house, and that Ai had lost an older sister to AP. He knew that Ai liked baby animals and wished that Rin would buy him a kitten, but didn't like bugs or pigeons, didn't like loud noises, and didn't like it when Nagisa put an arm around his shoulders and called him “Ai-chan”. Not that Nagisa had any intention of giving that up; after talking to Rei, he'd been left with the impression that Ai actually complaining about anything was actually a good thing. Apparently Rei was worried that Aichiirou was too easily led by Rin and Sousuke, too willing to let others make decisions for him, and too in danger of being unable to fend for himself should Rin eventually tire of his companionship.

Ai, of course, wouldn't hear a bad word said against Rin. Or Sousuke. He didn't have much to say himself about Sousuke, and Nagisa resolved to ask Rei to fill him in on that front later. The whole situation struck Nagisa as oddly melodramatic, like something out of a cheap daytime drama, and that was only partly due to the romantic way that Ai talked about his lovers. Rin was “amazing” and “perfect”, had practically saved Ai's life, while Sousuke was “brooding” and “sexy”, the shadow-half to Rin's bright philanthropic public persona. Nagisa hadn't been able to shake the creepy sense of unease he'd experienced while in their presence, and he wondered if Ai had ever felt it too, if it was something that came with their flashy suits and imposing height, something that would fade if he got to know them better.

There was an odd sort of responsibility that came with being Aichiirou. Nagisa appreciated the opportunity to spend time with someone close to his own age, with no other purpose than to hang out and have fun, but there was always the weight of Rei's words hanging over him, the reminder that Ai was somehow at risk, somehow vulnerable, needed looking after. Nagisa felt the embarrassing pride of Rei's admission that he could “bring people out of themselves” and hoped that his time with Ai was doing some sort of good. He pushed for Ai's opinion of practically everything they saw and did, and tempted him with sweets and pastries and drinks until even Nagisa had reached his sugar-limit.

After about three hours of wandering around town, Ai was starting to flag, talking even less and dragging his feet as they walked the road that ran alongside the beach. Apparently he was supposed to be back at the IBB at five for Rin to collect him. It was already dark, and the streets were busy with people both hurrying home and just heading out, so Nagisa took Ai's elbow and steered him away from the beach and up the hill towards the IBB. He felt Ai tense a little at the contact, but he didn't complain, and for a while they walked in silence until, for perhaps the first time that afternoon, Ai asked him a question. 

“Are you in love with Dr Ryuugazaki?”

Nagisa actually stopped walking, surprised by Ai initiating conversation at all as much as by the question itself. He kept his hold on Ai's elbow, thereby dragging him to a stop too so that they stood facing each other.

“When I talk about Rin and Sousuke, you talk about Dr Ryuugazaki,” Ai said, not quite meeting his eye. “So I assumed that..” He took a deep breath, as if talking was hard work. “That you were his. Like I'm Rin's and Sousuke's.”

Unsure how to respond to such unexpected bluntness, Nagisa started walking again, Ai falling into step beside him. It helped not having to look at Ai's face when he spoke.

“It's not really the same,” he ventured, making a vague gesture with his free hand. “We're just dating, really. Still getting to know one another.”

“Do you love him? I think I loved Rin almost straight away.”

Nagisa managed a shy little laugh.

“It's way too early for that,” he told Ai. “I think he's cute, and fun to talk to, and I like kissing him and stuff.”

“So you're not lovers.”

“No, I guess not.” He couldn't say for certain why talking about it embarrassed him so. Embarrassment was not something that came naturally to Nagisa. His relationship with Rei was...well, barely even a relationship, if he was going to be technical about it. They went on dates, but that was about it. He hadn't seen where Rei lived, and taking Rei to his home was completely out of the question.

“Do you want to be?” Ai was watching the street ahead of them, perking up a little as they neared the IBB and Rin.

“I guess I haven't thought about it too much,” he confessed, feeling a little sheepish. Ai had a lover – two lovers. For all his weird, spacey, childish ways, that somehow made him seem so much more mature than Nagisa. Aichiirou had lovers, and was studying photography, and hadn't lived with his parents for nearly two years, and what was Nagisa compared to that? A boy who worked in a supermarket and lived with his parents and thought kissing his boyfriend was the most exciting thing ever.

It made him want things; things he had no right to want, that he was never going to have. He was grateful that Nitori's gaze was so fixed on the road ahead so that he wouldn't see Nagisa's flushed face and pinched frown.

“What'll you do with your prizes from the arcade?” he asked, desperate to change the subject. Ai looked at the bag of toys in his hand, almost as if he'd forgotten he was carrying it.

“Put them in my room, I guess.”

“You have your own room?” When Nagisa pictured Ai living with Rin and Sousuke, he could only come up with the idea of some huge master bedroom draped in blood-red satin and plush velvet, dominated by an enormous bed for the three of them to share. Not that he especially wanted to picture any of that. “Don't you...I mean, don't the three of you...”

“I have my own room for when Rin and Sousuke are away,” Ai explained, surprising Nagisa with his unexpected perception. “I don't like sleeping by myself. But I have space to put my stuff.” He shook the bag. “I can put them in there.”

“You could give some to Rin and Sousuke,” Nagisa suggested. “If I'd won something, I think I'd give it to Rei-chan as a gift.”

“I don't think Sousuke would like a stuffed animal,” Ai countered. “They give me such nice things. A stuffed animal doesn't compare to the gifts they give me. Do you want Dr Ryuugazaki to be your lover?”

Nagisa stumbled, bumping into Ai, who merely carried on walking as if he'd said nothing at all out of the ordinary.

“You keep coming back to that.” Nagisa tightened his grip on Ai's elbow and tried to keep up.

“You keep talking about Dr Ryuugazaki,” Ai replied. “He's your boyfriend, right?”

“I guess. But it's still early.”

“Don't you want him to be your forever?” They had rounded a corner and the sign for the IBB was finally in view, causing Ai to walk quicker than before. “Rin and Sousuke are my forever. I don't think I'd be doing anything special if I hadn't met them.”

Nagisa honestly didn't know whether to pity Ai for his delusions of romance, or to envy him for his certainty that his relationship was such a sure thing. He couldn't imagine what it must be like to be so confident about the future, or to know that he was so important to someone else. Ai seemed so happy when he talked about Rin and Sousuke, and Nagisa found himself wishing he knew what it felt like to feel so...so loved. It made him ache a little inside, in a way that almost scared him. 

“I think...” Ai fumbled with the handle of the bag he carried, adjusting it as though it weighed far more than it probably did. “I think Dr Ryuugazaki would like a forever. He just has his job. Rin says he needs to loosen up. Rin has work, but then he comes home to me and Sousuke, and we're his. We look after him. Dr Ryuugazaki looks after his patients, but no one looks after him. You could look after him.”

It was the most Ai had said in one go all afternoon, and it seemed like it had worn him out, because he didn't say another word until they were inside the IBB reception. Rin and Sousuke were waiting there for him, so Nagisa hung back while Ai dashed over to hug them both. It was kind of like meeting a school friend's parents, only with the added weirdness of knowing that Ai would probably go home to bed with the two of them. Nagisa kind of wanted to ask about that stuff, and had a feeling that Ai would answer any questions he had, but at the same time it was probably stuff he had no right to ask about. Besides, thinking about it too much was beginning to make him feel sad in a way he couldn't quite explain, except that it made him want to see Rei again.

Rin thanked him for taking care of Ai during their day out, and Nagisa managed to make vaguely coherent sentences in response. He was told that he should continue to e-mail Ai, and perhaps could even visit him at home some time, if he wanted to. Nagisa could only smile and thank him, and once the three of them had left, he felt himself sag with relief, as if he'd been holding his breath the whole time they'd been there.

He had nothing planned for the rest of his day, but didn't feel like going home just yet, so he leaned over the reception desk and said 'hi' to the young man working there.

“Is Dr Ryuugazaki working today?” he asked, trying not to sound too desperate.

The receptionist checked his watch, then checked something on his computer.

“He was scheduled to finish at five,” he told Nagisa, “but he hasn't signed out yet, so he's probably still in his office.”

“Is it okay if I call in to say hello?”

The receptionist smiled at him.

“You're Hazuki-kun, right?” Nagisa nodded, feeling his cheeks flush. He wondered how many of the staff knew about him and Rei. “I'm sure it'll be fine. He was just doing paperwork this afternoon, so you won't be interrupting anything.” Nagisa grinned and thanked him before heading down the corridor towards Rei's office.

His conversation with Aichiirou had left him feeling uneasy for reasons he couldn't quite pinpoint; all he knew for certain was that seeing Rei would cheer him up. He wondered if perhaps he ought to talk to Rei about some of the stuff Ai had said, or if perhaps he might be better off talking to someone more impartial. Maybe talking to Makoto about it would help. While he was at it, maybe he could ask Makoto if he'd ever met Rin, and if he got that strange helpless feeling around him too, or if it was just him. He remembered Rei seeming a little nervous in Rin's presence, but that could just have been because Rin was technically his boss.

He tapped twice on the door to Rei's office before turning the handle. The door seemed a little sticky in its frame, like the door to Nagisa's house when it had rained and the wood had swollen, but a second shove had it open easily enough. He stumbled into the room, feeling oddly excited at the thought of getting to see Rei again when he hadn't planned to.

“Rei-chan, is there such a thing as vampire pheromones?” he asked as he closed the door behind him. “Because every time I see Matsuoka Rin he makes me feel all weird, and I don't usually get like that around people I don't know, so I wondered if maybe having AP meant people gave off different pheromones or something. They used to say that vampires had mind control powers, so I wondered if that's where it came from.”

When he finally turned to look at Rei properly, he let out a quick laugh – Rei was up on the medical examination bench, and Nagisa realised he must have caught Rei napping, and the door had stuck because Rei had tried to lock it but not done a very good job.

“Oops! Sorry, Rei-chan!” He giggled as Rei struggled to sit up, taking in his flushed face and wide eyes.

“Nagisa-kun,” Rei slurred, his arms flailing as he tried to keep himself from slipping off the edge of the bench. Nagisa was about to rush over to help him, until he realised just why Rei was struggling. His right hand had finally grasped the edge of the bench, but he was deliberately trying not to move his left arm too much because it was connected to a tall metal frame at the head of the bench. Connected by a thin plastic tube, coloured a deep red, which joined at its end to a half-empty blood bag. Nagisa stared at the tube, trying to figure out what was wrong with the scene in front of him. He saw people donating every time he came in, so why did it seem so odd to see Rei with the familiar needle in the crook of his elbow?

It took a few seconds to work it out. Rei's blood-bag wasn't sitting on the little scale below the bench, see-sawing back and forth as it filled. Because Rei wasn't bleeding out into the bag. Instead, Rei's bag was suspended from a frame above his head, the blood in the tube running into his arm, not out of it. Rei's face was red not because he was embarrassed, but because - 

Nagisa remembered the way Rin and Sousuke had looked the first time he'd seen them, fresh from the transfusion ward. Cheeks flushed, pupils dilated, hyper-alert to everything around them.

He fumbled behind him for the doorknob, palm suddenly too sweaty to get a decent grip. He thought he might have cried out as he struggled to get the door open, not wanting to take his eyes off Rei but not able to work the door without looking. He thought Rei might have called his name as he plucked uselessly at the tape holding the needle against his arm. All sorts of things might have happened as Nagisa tumbled out into the corridor and dashed away from Rei's office, tripping over his own feet and barely staying upright as he headed back towards reception. He knew he heard someone call his name, and only realised that it wasn't Rei when someone grabbed his arm and whirled him around, and he swung wildly, the back of his hand connecting with a broad chest under a blue-and-white shirt.

“Nagisa-kun,” Makoto called, frantic in the face of Nagisa's distress. “What's wrong?”

“I have to go,” he wailed, trying to break free, but Makoto had a solid grip on his upper arm and wasn't about to let him loose. “I have to go! I need to go!”

“What happened?” A porter was heading their way – Nagisa knew everyone on the ward had probably heard him, but didn't care – but Makoto shooed him away, and took hold of Nagisa's other arm in an attempt to keep him still. “Nagisa, look at me!”

“Rei-chan,” he spluttered, making another desperate attempt to break free from Makoto's grip. “I have to go, before he comes!” He tried to look up at Makoto, but his vision was clouded by tears. “He was...Rei-chan, he was...”

Makoto made a low sound that suggested he might know what Nagisa meant, and without a word he turned Nagisa around and began to steer him towards the reception area. From behind the desk, the receptionist tried to ask Makoto what was happening, but Makoto shushed him with a wave of his hand and kept on going until he and Nagisa were outside. The cold November air caught Nagisa off-guard, almost taking his breath away and making it nearly impossible for him to speak. Makoto took advantage of his sudden quiet.

“Go wait for me at the diner,” he told Nagisa in a low, firm voice. “I have to sign out and get my stuff from the staffroom. I'll be right behind you. Go straight there and wait until I catch up.” He waited for Nagisa to nod his understanding, then marched back into the building, exchanging brief words with the receptionist before he disappeared in the direction of the staffroom.

Nagisa briefly contemplated running in the opposite direction, hailing a taxi and going straight home. But the thought of dealing with his parents appealed even less, and so with tears stinging his eyes, he set off back down the hill in the direction of the diner, trying to think of anything except Rei's flushed face and the thick, guttural voice that had called Nagisa's name.


	11. Makoto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto talks Nagisa through his crisis, before going home to Haru.

Even though he knew Nagisa was waiting for him, Makoto couldn't bring himself to move quickly as he collected his jacket and backpack from his locker. He needed time to get his thoughts in order, and didn't particularly want to attract any undue attention from the other staff.

So Nagisa had found out Dr Ryuugazaki's secret. He'd been wondering how long it would take. For all that the doctor talked about AP sufferers being a part of society, he kept his own condition close to his chest. At first, Makoto had assumed that it was out of a desire to not let it affect his work, as if Rei could be a living example of how someone with AP could still contribute something positive to the world. But Nagisa's distraught expression had only confirmed his growing suspicion that Rei feared alienation and loneliness more than the threat of professional setbacks.

It wasn't fair. None of it. Dr Ryuugazaki cared so much; he genuinely believed that the world could be a better place if only people saw things the way he did, and there were times when Makoto could almost believe it too.

But then at the end of the day, each time he went home to the house he shared with Haru, he remembered how things used to be. He remembered Haru being brought home from Samezuka, and how the ambulance driver had carried him up the steps to his grandmother's house because there was no way they could get a wheelchair up there. He remembered the weeks it took for Haru to leave the house again, and the times he'd had to speak for the both of them because Haru refused to talk to anyone he didn't know. He remembered nights spent with Haru after Grandma Nanase was killed, holding him when the nightmares returned and coaxing him to eat, to shower, to go outside when the sun was up.

It was all supposed to be ancient history now; Haru was an adult, and could more or less get by on his own. He could be around people like Dr Ryuugazaki without freaking out or running away. But sometimes it felt like there was always some subtle threat tucked away in the little corners of their lives. The fear that kept people indoors after dark, and the faces of the people in the transfusion ward, and the posters at the train station reminding all good citizens what could happen if O-negs stopped making their regular donations. News stories about people found in alleyways with their throats cut had never completely stopped, and the number of AP sufferers across Japan never seemed to drop.

When he eventually made it to the diner, Nagisa was at a table tucked away in a corner, an untouched mug of hot chocolate on the table in front of him. Makoto waved to him before stepping up to the counter to order himself a drink. As he was about to pay, he added a couple of over-sized chocolate cookies to his order, before joining Nagisa at his table.

Nagisa tried to offer him a weak smile, but it quickly faltered, betrayed by his red-rimmed watery eyes.

“How did you find out?” Makoto asked, seeing no point in beating around the bush. Across the table, Nagisa fidgeted with his spoon, trying to put his words in order.

“I went to his office,” he began, his voice still unsteady. “He was on the bench, hooked up to a blood bag. At first, I thought he was donating, but then, I saw...” He trailed off, his lower lip trembling dangerously.

Makoto reached out and covered Nagisa's hand with his own.

“That's harsh,” he said. “Maybe the worst way to find out.”

“You already knew?” There was no accusation in Nagisa's tone, but it didn't keep Makoto from feeling just a little guilty.

“A few of the staff know,” Makoto confessed. “I had to help him with a transfusion once. He doesn't like to talk about it much.”

Nagisa ran a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh.

“But he's always talking about APs 'integrating with society'.” Nagisa dropped his voice in a passable impersonation of the doctor. “If he thinks having AP isn't such a big deal, why'd he have to hide it?”

“Maybe he was worried about people running away and abandoning him if they found out.” He looked pointedly at Nagisa, who blushed and looked away. “Or maybe he just doesn't want it to get in the way of his work. Like, if he doesn't make a big deal about it, no one else will.” Nagisa huffed and ran his fingers through his hair again, leaving tufts of it sticking up at odd angles. “Does it change anything? I mean, would you not want a relationship if you'd known from the start?”

“We don't have a relationship,” Nagisa responded, surprising him a little. “We're just dating. It was just supposed to be for fun.”

“Then why has it upset you so much? You must care about him a lot if you're so upset about him keeping secrets from you.”

A waiter brought over Makoto's drink and a plate with two cookies, and they both stayed silent until they were alone again. Makoto picked up a spoonful of whipped cream and tasted it, waiting for Nagisa to resume their conversation.

“Well, sure, I like him a lot, and I wanted to keep on seeing him,” Nagisa admitted. “And it was never supposed to be serious.”

“Were you thinking about making it serious?” Makoto risked a sip of his hot chocolate, finding it still just a little too hot to enjoy just yet. As if he had only just realised he had a drink too, Nagisa tried his, grimacing when he realised it had grown cold.

“I can't do serious.”

“Why not?” he asked. “I mean, I know you're young, but a lot of people your age are in serious relationships, or even engaged. Haru and I were - ”

“That's not it.” Nagisa rubbed a hand over his eyes, still red and puffy. “I just...I can't get weighed down with relationship stuff. That's not my life.”

“What do you mean?”

“I'm a donor!” Nagisa's hands made tight fists on the table-top. “And my dad's been a donor for years and it wrecked him and now he can't work full-time, and I have two sisters in college and my parents need me!” His voice was beginning to shake again, but he didn't seem ready to stop. “And I would love to have a relationship and go to college and live in my own apartment, but my parents need me, and being a donor nearly killed my dad, and what if it does the same to me? What if I get sick like he did? Why do I have to risk getting sick because of other people being sick?”

The look on Nagisa's face was almost too much for Makoto to bear. He put his hand over Nagisa's again and squeezed, before offering Nagisa a napkin to wipe his eyes.

“I didn't...” His own voice was surprisingly rough, and he had to stop to clear his throat. “I didn't realise you had it so rough.” It wasn't much consolation, but he couldn't think of much else to say.

“I love my family,” Nagisa continued, almost in a whisper, “and I want to help. My sisters are in med school, they're going to do good things one day, and my donor money helps pay for that, and sometimes I feel so selfish for wanting stuff I just can't have.”

“Nagisa, it's not selfish to want to live your own life.”

“And then I met Rei-chan, and he was mine. It was something that was just mine. I had fun with him, and I didn't have to think about serious things like money or the future, but now I know about this, and it's hard! I wanted one thing that was easy, that was just for me, and now I don't even have that!” Conscious of other patrons at nearby tables, Nagisa was struggling to keep his voice low; Makoto briefly considered taking him outside, but the bitter November air probably wouldn't help. Instead, he gave Nagisa's hand another squeeze and waited patiently for him to compose himself.

“Will it change that much now that you know he has AP?”

Nagisa bit his lower lip, eyes darting around the room.

“I don't know!” On the table-top, his free hand clenched and unclenched, knuckles briefly whitening each time. “There's all the stuff you have to be careful of, and Rei-chan can't go outside in the daytime, and probably has to be super-careful about injuring himself, and what about...you know. Stuff.” He made a vague gesture that Makoto took a couple of seconds to interpret.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I mean, I hadn't even thought that far – we've only kissed a few times – but now I'm thinking about it even though I didn't even know if I wanted it.”

Nagisa pulled his hand away from Makoto's and broke a piece off one of the cookies, stuffing it into his mouth.

“And while you're here wondering whether you're going to get to sleep with your boyfriend, what do you think Rei is doing?” Makoto knew it might sound harsh, but it felt like the best way to get Nagisa to deal with things was to encourage him to look at things from a different angle.

“Probably wishing he'd locked his door properly?” Nagisa took another bite of his cookie, scowled at the crumbs that dropped onto the table, and scooped them up with his finger and thumb to shove those in his mouth too. “You're gonna tell me to talk to Rei-chan.” Makoto shrugged, then nodded. “Okay, I get that this isn't all about me. But Rei-chan was the one keeping secrets. It's not like I did anything wrong. Except go into his office without knocking, but how was I supposed to know?”

Makoto took a deep breath, trying to figure out the meaning behind Nagisa' angry rant and work out the best response.

“Do you think Dr Ryuugazaki will be brave enough to come to you first to talk this out?”

He watched Nagisa's brows crease with confusion, before he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“But why do I have to be the one to go to him?”

“I think perhaps you should ask yourself if it's worth talking to him at all.” At that, Nagisa's eyes widened, and he looked about to protest, but Makoto kept going. “If it was just a fun little fling, like you said, then you could just call it a day and Dr Ryuugazaki will be a guy you dated for a while, nothing more. But if you want to keep seeing him, and keep this special thing that's just yours, then I think you need to make the effort to talk to him about it.”

Nagisa pursed his lips, looking so much like a petulant child that Makoto almost wanted to laugh at the sight.

“I can't promise that things will all work out fine for you both,” Makoto continued, “but if you don't talk to him, you'll never know.”

“Mako-chan?”

“Yeah?”

“Why'd you have to be so sensible?” 

He did laugh at that. Nagisa was too busy finishing off his cookie and reaching for the second one to join in.

Makoto stayed with him long enough for Nagisa to order and drink a second hot chocolate, before the two of them left the diner. They walked together for a couple of blocks before they had to head off in separate directions; Makoto made Nagisa promise to call him if he needed to talk again. Nagisa thanked him with a tight hug and a tired smile, before heading off towards his own home.

The night air was made colder by a sharp wind that picked up as Makoto climbed the hill to Haru's house. It was still technically in his parents' name, but Haru's parents hadn't even visited Iwatobi for almost a year now, and besides, he'd thought of it as his and Haru's house for longer than that, ever since he'd spent the night after his high school graduation there. He'd shown up with an overnight bag, and in the morning when he'd woken up to see Haru shaking and wiping red-rimmed eyes, Makoto had tentatively offered to stay another night if Haru wanted him to. One more night had become two, then a week, and then Makoto's mother had brought over a suitcase full of Makoto's clothes and asked him to make a shopping list for the two of them. Since Haru's parents still paid the household bills, Makoto hadn't needed to work while he attended the nearby college, getting enough of a basic medical education to allow him to train as a phlebotomist, and he'd started working at the IBB, proud that he could support himself and Haru.

By the time he reached the front door, his breath was coming in short pants that turned to little white clouds in the frigid night air. All the lights in the house were on, it seemed, but Haru hadn't bothered with any heating, making Makoto almost regret taking off his coat.

He found Haru in the room that had once been Grandma Nanase's; his easel was set up, and a canvas had a few daubs of paint, but it had been abandoned in favour of the work table where Haru was currently up to his elbows in clay. Makoto tapped lightly on the door frame to announce his presence. Haru welcomed him home out of habit, barely looking up from his work even when Makoto crossed the room to stand behind him, slipping both arms around Haru's middle.

“Sorry I'm late,” he whispered, nudging his nose against Haru's neck.

“You're cold,” was Haru's disgruntled response, and Makoto squeezed a little tighter to apologise. “I put your dinner in the fridge. I didn't know when you'd get back.”

“Thanks.” He rested his chin on Haru's shoulder, looking down at the figure that Haru was working on. “This is new. Weren't you going to work on that commission today?”

“I needed to get my hands into something,” Haru explained, and Makoto opted not to push the matter any further. He usually met his commission deadlines, and if doing something else for a while helped him to focus, then Makoto couldn't complain.

“Do you think you'll be working much longer?” he asked, as Haru's hands kept manipulating the clay in spite of his tight embrace. “I feel like getting wrapped up in half a dozen blankets and watching TV until I fall asleep on the couch.”

“Eat dinner first,” Haru instructed, without pausing in his work. “Otherwise you'll wake up hungry in the middle of the night. I don't want to get woken up when you come back to bed with cold feet.”

Makoto chuckled, and kissed the back of Haru's neck before letting him loose and heading back down to the kitchen. He ate the plate of leftovers standing up, realising too late just how hungry he'd grown and practically shoveling the food into his mouth before rinsing the plate and setting it to dry. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and started to head towards the living room, before making a diversion to their bedroom. There, he changed into his pyjamas and pulled a blanket from the linen closet, which he took back downstairs.

He'd watched about half an episode of some trashy drama before Haru eventually joined him on the couch, slipping under the blanket and folding himself around Makoto, head resting against his chest. If Haru had spent the day working in his studio, and had managed to stay working when Makoto wasn't home on time instead of retreating to his bed, then he figured Haru was definitely having a good day. His bad days were becoming few and far between, and although Makoto didn't want to push their luck, he was grateful for it. He thought about taking Haru out somewhere on his next day off, maybe catch a train and go somewhere up the coast for a real day out. Although it was cold, Haru could do with catching a bit of sun and fresh air; his work was important, but staying cooped up for too long wouldn't do him any good.

Makoto fell asleep planning his and Haru's day out, with Haru already dozing peacefully under his arm.


	12. Rei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei takes a sick-day.

For the first time in his tenure as director of the Iwatobi Blood Bank, Dr Ryuugazaki was not at his post. In accordance with the staff handbook's Absence Management Policy, he had telephoned reception precisely one hour before the scheduled start of his shift to report that he would not be at work that morning, as he had a migraine. 

It wasn't entirely untruthful; he did have an unpleasant headache due to not having slept the night before, and all the black-out curtains in his apartment were still drawn to keep out the light, although that was more to keep his skin from crisping than to nurse his sore head.

Rei was not the type to enjoy spending lazy mornings in bed, but now that he was up and dressed, he found himself at a loss for what to do with himself for the rest of the day. He was effectively housebound until at least four o'clock when the sun went down. He could technically collect some paperwork from his office to work on, but since he had called in sick he probably shouldn't show his face anywhere around the building. For a while he perused the bookshelves that lined his living room, while sipping a cup of black coffee, but nothing caught his interest. Eventually he gave up and chose instead to switch on his computer.

For the past year, Rei had been sporadically working on writing a history of Advanced Porphyria with regards to its influence on various myths and stories from around the world. He had always been both fascinated and amused by the links between the disease and traditional vampire stories, even before contracting the disease himself, and had put a lot of hours into researching historical epidemics to see how they compared with vampire superstitions in different countries.

The most recently modified files were a chapter on seizures as an explanation for the bizarre hopping vampires described in Chinese mythology, and a chapter on hypertension and tachycardia which may have affected certain European poets suspected to have had AP. After hovering the cursor between the two for several seconds, he opened up the latter file.

It was probably a mistake, he decided, as he read over the poem he'd included at the top of the document to serve as inspiration. A Victorian monologue about a man murdering his beautiful blonde lover because he knew that eventually she would leave him. Could he have picked anything more disturbingly appropriate?

Angry at himself all of a sudden, he closed the file and pushed back his chair, standing and stalking back into the kitchen to make a second cup of coffee. With the mug clasped in both hands, Rei leaned his elbows on the counter-top and sighed.

The situation with Nagisa was absolutely unfathomable. They had been on dates. He enjoyed Nagisa's company. But at the same time he had been clear from the start that he was not suited to a romantic relationship. He hadn't been lying when he'd told Nagisa that his career was his top priority, and Nagisa had seemed accepting of that, agreeing with Rei that going out on dates was not necessarily the beginning of a relationship.

It was true that Nagisa had found out about his condition in an unexpected, less-than-ideal way. Given the choice, of course Rei would rather have told Nagisa himself than have him walk in on Rei in the middle of a transfusion. But when exactly was one supposed to bring that up in conversation? Perhaps their mismatched schedules accounted for something; since they only ever saw each other after dark or inside the confines of the IBB building, the issue of Rei never going out in the sun simply hadn't come up. Neither had the issue of safe sex, since Nagisa hadn't pushed for anything more than kissing and holding hands. 

They were not in love. They could barely even be called a couple. Nagisa's abrupt departure from the IBB could be put down to surprise at seeing something unexpected. Rei could even concede that he should perhaps have told Nagisa from the outset; perhaps even have refused to date him in the first place.

He did not like feeling so...so unpleasant. If this was what relationships did to people, then Rei supposed he should be glad that he had avoided them for so long. 

Still...perhaps he ought to apologise to Nagisa. For causing him distress by allowing him to see Rei taking a transfusion. For not locking the door properly. For not instructing the staff to keep unexpected visitors away from his office.

After all, Nagisa was the one who walked into his office, his workplace, unannounced. Rei could have been with a patient, or in a meeting. Surely Nagisa was as much to blame as anyone for not using basic common sense and knocking on the door or having reception call to see if he was available. Rei could hardly take responsibility for Nagisa's lack of manners.

Rei pushed himself away from the kitchen counter, emptied his coffee into the sink and dumped the empty mug in the dishwasher, before stalking through his apartment to the bedroom. There, he changed out of the dress-shirt and slacks he'd put on out of habit, and re-dressed himself in track pants and his newest moisture-wicking shirt, followed by his running shoes. Then he headed for the room which he'd made into his home-gym, and switched on first the TV on the wall and then the treadmill. He jogged for a couple of kilometres, occasionally paying attention to the morning news, before ramping up the speed and sprinting until he felt sweat dripping down his forehead into his eyes. It was reckless – no longer able to feel the ache in his muscles the way he used to in his high school track days, he risked doing himself a serious injury if he kept it up for too long – but it felt good. The day in general felt right for being reckless. He'd already missed work, for the first time ever, so why not push himself with his exercises?

When sweat began to drip from his face onto the treadmill itself, Rei decided to call it a day. He grabbed a towel from the basket he kept in the corner and dried his face and hair, then headed back into the kitchen. He didn't want to be still, didn't want to sit, to stop, to allow himself time to think too much about anything, but he was trapped in his damned apartment for at least another six hours. Rei took a bottle of water from the fridge and downed it in seconds, still breathing heavily, before walking through to the living room. When he couldn't find anything to do in there, he went back to the kitchen, picked up a mug and considered having a third cup of coffee, then changed his mind and hurled the mug into the sink, rather enjoying the way it shattered. He wrenched open the fridge again, scanning the contents; he didn't need to eat, but needed something to do.

Inside the fridge door, in the little plastic-covered compartment at the top, was his emergency supply. Two 100ml blood bags, neatly labelled, stored in case of crisis. He didn't need it – it had been less than twenty-four hours since his last transfusion, after all – but it seemed like the thing to do.

He pulled out one bag, then rolled his eyes and took the second one, snorting at his own foolish behaviour but unable to stop himself. Using a pair of scissors, he snipped a corner from the first bag and emptied its contents into yet another mug, quickly followed by the second, then set the mug in the microwave.

His transfusions were carefully regimented. One 470ml transfusion once a week, with an occasional top-up only if he was overworked and feeling run-down. There were, he knew, a number of sufferers who did not take transfusions, preferring what they called 'the old fashioned way'. Rei kept his disdain for those people to himself. He'd tried drinking just once, just a couple of months after his diagnosis, at Rin's urging. The feel of it in his mouth had been too much – syrupy and cloying – and he hadn't even registered any sense of taste before he'd spat it out and dashed to Rin's bathroom, dry-heaving and cursing Rin, who simply laughed and called him a dork before bringing him a glass of water and wiping his sweaty face with a wet cloth.

When the microwave beeped, Rei carefully removed the mug and raised it to his lips. He hesitated for just a second before opening his mouth and drinking. 

He tried not to think about the sensation of luke-warm blood filling his mouth and oozing down his throat. Instead, Rei kept his eyes on the place where the wall met the ceiling, reciting the digits of pi in his head and swallowing methodically until the mug was completely drained. He set it back down on the counter, gasping for breath, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, giggling a little when it came away smeared with red. His head swam, and he had to steady himself with both hands on the counter-top as a wave of dizziness overcame him.

This was his life, Rei reminded himself. Staying indoors while the sun was up. Eating only one small meal a day. Relying on donated blood to keep himself alive.

“This is me,” he whispered, startled at how rough his voice sounded. “This is who I am.” 

He blinked rapidly, taking deep breaths until he felt a little more stable. Still, as he walked through the apartment to his bedroom, he had to keep one arm outstretched to steady himself on whatever furniture was nearest. He could feel his elevated heart rate – tachycardia, he thought, hypertension, anxiety, confusion – he recited symptoms in his head as he carefully made his way into the bedroom and began stripping off his workout clothes. Dysfunction of the peripheral nerves. Central nervous system disruptions leading to seizures and possibly coma. He dumped his clothes in the laundry basket and tried to remember where his dressing gown was, before another dizzy spell hit and he was forced to sit down on the bed. It passed quickly, but he found he didn't have the energy to stand again, so he flopped back onto the mattress before squirming around until he was under the covers. Photo-sensitivity. Anxiety. Confusion. Had he listed those already? Dysfunction of the peripheral nerves. Dysfunction. He most certainly was dysfunctional. He snorted with laughter, before he was caught off-guard with a sudden loud belch. It brought back the taste of the blood, and for a second his stomach roiled, threatening him with a wave of nausea. Rei squeezed his eyes closed and breathed deeply through his nose, willing himself not to vomit.

When it passed, Rei wanted to laugh at his own ridiculousness, but didn't dare make a sound. His apartment was silent, and with the lights out and curtains drawn, it was comfortably peaceful. He risked opening one eye to check the time on his bedside alarm clock – not even midday.

Still, he wasn't expected at work, and there was nothing else he actually needed to do. Rei pulled the covers up over his head and gave in to his exhaustion.

He awoke to a steady hammering on his apartment door. His headache had apparently returned, along with a hint of stomach pain, and he briefly considered ignoring the noise and staying hidden under the blankets. But very few people actually had access to his floor of the building, so if someone was at his door then there was most likely an emergency that needed his attention.

Trying to hold back a groan, Rei heaved himself out of bed. He fumbled in the wardrobe until he found his dressing gown and tugged it on as he stumbled through the apartment, tying the belt securely around his middle. He adjusted his glasses and tried to smooth down his unruly hair before he opened the door, hoping he didn't look too terrible.

“Rin-san?” Rei jerked back from the door, surprise momentarily overtaking the various types of pain currently wracking his body.

“I called your office. They told me you were out sick. You're never sick.” Rin took his movement as invitation and stepped inside the apartment. Rei checked to make sure he was alone, before closing the door behind him. “You look sick. Actually, you look terrible. What's going on?”

“I...had a migraine,” he offered, just barely remembering his morning telephone call to reception.

“Had? So it's gone now?”

Rei tugged his dressing gown tighter around himself, wishing he'd taken the time to put on more clothes first. Rin always made him feel edgy, even when he was fully dressed and composed and in work-mode. Now, with only his dressing gown keeping him from being completely naked, and aware that he looked so dreadful, he could feel himself turning into a stuttering, quivering car-crash of a human being.

“I just woke up. Please excuse me, Rin-san, but I'm not at my best right now.”

“I can believe you.” Rin laughed and reached out to tousle his hair. He tried to duck, but wasn't quick enough. “Shit, you had a fever or something? You're drenched.”

Rei cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, feeling his already flushed face grow even hotter.

“As I said, I've been unwell. I'm really not feeling myself right now.” He checked the knot on his dressing gown. Still secure. “Was there something you wanted, Rin-san? You said you called my office.”

“Huh? Oh, right. Not really. I was mostly calling to say thanks for your advice. You know, about Ai.” Rin pulled his phone from the pocket of his jacket and began tapping at the screen as he continued talking. “You know he's learning photography? Talks about it all the time! Some days he won't shut up! I guess...I guess we hadn't realised he was getting so...what was the word? Isolated? Here, he sends me some of his photographs sometimes.” 

Rin thrust his phone at Rei's face; Rei leaned back a little until he could focus on the image. It showed the bay at twilight, with the bright lights of a little beachside cafe mirrored by the distant dim lights of ships at sea.

“Ain't it something?” Rin was beaming. “I think he's got a knack for it. And it's perked him up like you wouldn't believe. That, and spending time with your boy.”

“My...boy?”

“Nagisa. That's his name, right?” Rin shoved his phone back into his pocket.

“Ah. Well, Nagisa-kun and I...It's somewhat complicated. And possibly over.” He pushed his hands into the pockets of his dressing gown, wondering how he could politely get Rin out of his apartment so he could go back to feeling like crap without anyone else seeing.

“Over? That's too bad. I thought you seemed happier than usual lately.” Rin reached out and clapped him on the arm with complete disregard for his current condition. Rei felt himself sway and tried desperately not to lose his balance, or the contents of his stomach. “Ai seems to...well, not like him exactly, but he talks about him a lot. Mostly about how he doesn't want to be called 'Ai-chan' by someone younger than he is. But he talks so much! I don't think I'd realised how much he'd stopped talking.” Rin dipped his head, then looked up at Rei from under his hair. “You were right. I appreciate you stepping in. Thanks, man.”

“You're welcome, Rin-san.” He shifted awkwardly, hoping that Rin was drawing the conversation to an end.

“Shame you're not still seeing Nagisa.” Rin winked at him. “A little sip or three might've cured what ails ya!” He grinned at Rei, who scowled back at him.

“My relationship with Nagisa is not comparable at all to yours with Nitori-kun,” he snapped, his headache making forethought and sense feel like too much hard work.

“Relationship? I thought you said it was over.” Ignoring his tone, Rin smiled wickedly at Rei. “Too bad for you. Maybe you should think about calling him up and getting back together. Ai knows how to cheer me up when I'm feeling under the weather.” The lascivious lilt to his voice ensured Rei understood exactly what he was hinting at.

“Rin-san,” he huffed, “please do understand that I would ever enter into any such relationship with anyone. Just because I do not criticise your arrangement with Nitori-kun - ”

“Rei, sometimes I don't know why you fight it so much.” Rin reached out again, making Rei flinch, but this time instead of slapping his arm, Rin took hold of his bicep with a firm grip. “We're the same, you and me. You might have come to it a little later in life than I did, but you still need the same thing I do.”

“We are not the same.” He wrenched his arm from Rin's grip. “I have a disease. A disease which I manage through carefully regulated treatment. And it is only through maintaining complete control over my life and my interactions with others that I am able to live as normal a life as this disease lets me.” Rei turned and headed back to the door, one hand on its handle. Before he opened it, he looked back at Rin, eyes narrowed. “And may I remind you just who I contracted this disease from?”

“You're never gonna let me forget that, are you?” Rin moved to stand by the door. Rei knew he was doing something exceptionally risky, arguing with Rin, but he needed to be alone again, and he certainly did not need Rin planting ideas in his head about relationships or anything else.

“I live with this disease because of one stupid mistake I made when I was too young – and too intoxicated, I might add – to think about what I was doing. And now, because of that one night, I spend my life atoning for my mistake and trying to help others in my situation.” He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the pounding in his head. “Now, this is the first time I have ever taken sick-leave. Because I am actually sick. So if you don't mind, I need to rest. Alone, and in peace and quiet.” With that, he opened the door and gestured for Rin to leave.

“I'll forgive you for yelling at your boss, since you're sick.” Rin stepped out into the hallway, turning to face him one last time. “And since I'm grateful to you and Nagisa for helping out Ai. So I'll give you some time alone to recuperate, and maybe we'll talk again in a few days, when you're feeling better.” 

Rin headed off down the hallway, waving over his shoulder.

Rei slammed the door. It made his head pound, but it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things:
> 
> 1\. Chinese vampires do indeed hop. If you want to see them in action, track down the film 'Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires', which has Peter Cushing's Van Helsing battling Chinese vampires.
> 
> 2\. The poem Rei put into his book is 'Porphyria's Lover' by Robert Browning.
> 
> 3\. Porphyria is an actual disease (or group of diseases). The symptoms Rei recites are actual symptoms. The reason I originally picked this disease as the basis for my AU was partly due to a documentary I saw many years ago about self-identified vampires, some of whom have Porphyria. They have photosensitivity so avoid the sun, and some claimed to feel better if they regularly consumed animal blood.


	13. Nagisa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is definitely not thinking about Rei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honour of Rei's birthday yesterday, this chapter has...no Rei at all. But it does have Nagisa and Aichiirou, and they seem to be getting along a lot better than when I first planned this whole thing out.

For four days, Nagisa bounced between his job and his responsibilities at home, working until he was too exhausted to do any more than stumble to his room and collapse on to the bed, falling asleep in his clothes more often than not. It hurt – he ached all over and woke up with his stomach growling – but it was better than having nothing to do. If he stopped for more than a minute, he'd start thinking about Rei, and that hurt even more.

As much as it pained him to admit it, Makoto had probably been right. Being so upset about the whole thing was undoubtedly a sign that he had deeper feelings for Rei than he'd realised. But contrary to what Makoto believed, deeper feelings were like alarm bells for Nagisa. He couldn't risk getting too attached, not to Rei or anyone else. 

Friday was supposed to be his day off. He'd practically begged his supervisor to give him even a few hours of extra work, but his request had been denied; they needed Nagisa well-rested for the weekend, they said, so there was no way they'd let him into the store on his day off. Which left Nagisa, home from his Thursday night shift, wondering what on earth he was going to do with himself for the next twenty-four hours. To make things worse, his mother was scheduled to be at home too, so apart from a few basic chores there wouldn't be much for him to do around the house.

With his room lit only by his bedside lamp, Nagisa sprawled on his bed, scrolling through the contacts list of his phone. It was almost depressing how few names were in there. Outside of people from work and family members, there seemed to be hardly anyone Nagisa ever contacted. Discounting Rei, there was probably only Makoto and Aiichirou that he could text just to be sociable. Makoto would be asleep, no doubt, which left only one option.

Ai might not have been Nagisa's first choice to hang out with, but he didn't hate the idea. So after a brief hesitation, he tapped out a cheery message asking how Ai was doing and if he had plans for Friday evening. It was a long shot – Ai had _lovers_ after all, who probably kept him very occupied on Friday nights – but even if Ai turned him down, at least he'd have the brief text message interaction to distract him for a while.

He was on the verge of falling asleep when his phone buzzed, jolting him awake.

Ai's reply was overly formal. He was 'very well, thank you' and currently working on editing some photographs. He informed Nagisa that he didn't have plans for the next couple of days beyond spending time with Rin and Sousuke and working on his pictures. Realising that he wasn't quite sure what he and Ai could do together beyond just hanging out like they did last time, Nagisa opted instead to probe him about his photography, figuring it would buy him some time until he could think of an activity to invite him to. A few minutes later, Ai sent him a picture he'd taken of the bay at twilight, with the caption 'experimenting with landscapes'. Nagisa sent back a smiley face, which prompted Ai to send two more photographs.

Suddenly struck with an idea, Nagisa asked Ai if he wanted to go out on Friday afternoon to take some photos together. It took about fifteen minutes for Ai to respond; Nagisa began to wonder if perhaps he was actually asking Rin for permission to go out. His eventual reply informed Nagisa that afternoon was too early, but perhaps they could meet at around seven in the evening. It was later than Nagisa would have liked – he'd have to find some way to occupy himself from when he got up in the afternoon until then – but it was better than spending the day alone moping.

He finalised their plans, arranging to meet Ai at seven and sent a 'goodnight' message before slipping under the covers and switching off the lamp. Still, he didn't feel about to fall asleep any time soon.

It was foolish to think that he could avoid the issue altogether, or avoid Rei for that matter. His next scheduled appointment was in two weeks, with his dad's the week before that, and the odds of bumping into Rei at one of those appointments was high. What made it problematic wasn't that he wanted to avoid Rei completely, but rather that he had no idea how to act when he did see Rei again. Truthfully, he was starting to miss Rei. Seeing him had been something for Nagisa to look forward to, but now it filled him with apprehension. He was still unhappy that Rei had concealed such a big secret from him, but the feeling was more hurt than angry.

No. In a roundabout way, Makoto had been right. It was for the best to call it a day and for the two of them to go their separate ways.

Nagisa ended up sleeping later than usual, eventually making his way to the kitchen a little after two, still in his pyjamas and with his hair a ridiculous mess. His mother clicked her tongue at his appearance but didn't comment, and his father merely frowned over the top of his newspaper before turning his attention back to the front page. At the sink, his mother was washing the plates from their lunch; she handed Nagisa a towel for him to start drying. He'd planned to pour himself a glass of juice to get rid of the thick sleep-taste in his mouth, but he took the towel obediently and started on the dishes.

“Any plans for today?” his father asked. He sounded better today than he had for a while; his voice was stronger, his breathing not laboured and raspy like it sometimes was.

“Actually, yeah,” he told Isamu, a little embarrassed at how sleepy he still sounded. “I'm meeting my friend Ai-chan this evening.” Nagisa caught the way his parents glanced pointedly at each other over his head. 

“I haven't heard you mention that name before,” his mother said. “Is she a friend from work?”

Nagisa chuckled, until a plate almost slipped from his grip. He caught it just in time and set it down on the counter.

“Ai-chan's a he,” Nagisa explained, “and I met him at the donation centre.”

Another meaningful look passed between his parents.

“You're making a lot of friends there,” his father responded. “Does Ai work there?”

“He's a donor.” It seemed like the simplest explanation. “I guess we just got talking one day. Ai-chan's a photographer. Or studying to be one, at least.”

“Oh.” Isamu adjusted the newspaper in his hands before turning the pages. “Well, isn't that something? So what do the two of you have planned for today?”

“Mostly just hanging out.” Nagisa finished the last dish and crossed to the fridge to find the drink he'd been desperate for. “Ai-chan's bringing his camera. He's gonna show me how to take photographs.”

“In the evening? “His mother took the juice carton that Nagisa had been about to drink from and poured some into a glass for him. “Won't it be a little...dark to take photographs? Why would anyone be out taking photographs at night?”

Trying not to choke on his drinks, Nagisa thought quickly for an explanation.

“It's...kind of his thing. Like, an artistic thing. Using artificial lights and stuff!” An idea struck. “I'll show you!”

He dashed off to his bedroom, hoping his quick exit didn't seem too suspicious. If his dad was unhappy about Nagisa being friendly with the director of the IBB, then there was no way he'd let Nagisa hang out with Ai if he found out about his relationship with Matsuoka Rin. Nagisa retrieved his phone from the bedside table and began scrolling through his saved pictures as he headed back to the kitchen.

“Look,” he announced, holding out his phone to show his mother the picture of the bay that Aiichiriou had sent him.

“Oh. That's a pretty picture.” His mother ruffled his hair before crossing the kitchen to investigate the contents of the fridge. She pursed her lips, muttered under her breath, then turned back to Nagisa. “If you're going out later, can I give you a grocery list? With your staff discount, you - ”

She trailed off when she saw Nagisa's crestfallen expression, then rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair.

“Sorry. It's your day off. You've been working hard this week, you should take a little time off to relax.” She moved to stand next to Nagisa, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I know you help us out a lot, Nagisa-chan, and maybe we don't say it enough, but we're thankful.” She looked over at Nagisa's father, who had put his paper down and was nodding along, looking a little embarrassed. “We know you don't have it easy, but we couldn't do this without you.” She pressed a quick kiss to his forehead before tousling his hair once more. “I'll make you some breakfast. What would you like?”

As Nagisa ate, he watched his parents; his mother busying herself with laundry, and his father scouring the want-ads yet again for a work-from-home position that was manageable and not a scam.

Family came first. He was needed, he had responsibilities. Sure, it had been fun to go out with Rei, but he'd known it could never be serious. Better to stick to hanging out with friends, people like Mako-chan and Ai-chan, to have fun without getting attached. 

Nagisa took his time getting showered and dressed, thinking about places to take Ai-chan that evening, before throwing himself into a few chores before his mother protested and insisted that he stop for a rest and try to enjoy at least some of his day off.

When he eventually left the house, it was dark out and bitterly cold, and even with mittens on Nagisa had to jam his hands deep into the pockets of his coat. The brisk walk into town warmed him up a little, but it was undone by having to stand around waiting for Ai to arrive at their arranged meeting place. Nagisa would have picked somewhere a little more out of the way to meet, but the reason for Ai choosing to meet by the main road that ran alongside the beach became apparent when a sleek black car pulled up. Nagisa knew he was gaping in awe as the uniformed driver came to let Ai and Sousuke out of the car, but it was pointless hiding it.

Sousuke was dressed smartly, presumably off to work later, but Nagisa had already decided that he wasn't going to let his and Rin's imposing appearance get to him. He forced on his biggest smile, waved, and called “Ai-chan, hi!” as he headed over to greet them. Aiichirou was fiddling with a bag slung over his shoulder, apparently checking its contents, but he looked up as Nagisa approached.

“Good evening, Nagisa-kun.” He was as formal as ever, but Nagisa noted that his voice sounded stronger than the first time they'd met, as if he was speaking for himself rather than reciting lines learned by rote. “Um. This is Yamazaki Sousuke.”

Sousuke stood with a possessive hand on Ai's shoulder, looking more like an older brother than a boyfriend. Nagisa wondered if he was actually trying to look intimidating or if it was just something that came with being so much bigger than everyone else. But Nagisa was shivering and a little bit hungry and desperate to get moving again, and he decided that even if Sousuke did have some sort of freaky vampire pheromones or something that made him seem scary, he was too cold and too hungry to let that stop him from getting going.

“Hi, Sou-chan!” he said with another little wave. Sousuke arched an eyebrow, looked like he was about to say something, then rolled his eyes. Nagisa thought he might have seen just a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of Sousuke's mouth. Apparently Sousuke had decided that he was harmless enough, and let go of Ai's shoulder.

“Have a good evening, you two,” he told them; it was the first time Nagisa had heard him speak, and his voice was just as deep and gruff as Nagisa had expected but not at all aggressive. He leaned down to plant a kiss on the top of Ai's head before he climbed back into the car.

Ai waved goodbye until the car was out of sight.

“I don't think Sousuke would like being called Sou-chan,” Ai scolded as the two of them set off along the road. As close as they were to the sea, the harsh wind bit sharply at them, and Nagisa huddled closer to Ai, eventually taking hold of his arm as they walked side by side. His smart wool coat was a stark contrast to Nagisa's brightly coloured one, and Nagisa was reminded briefly of his first outing with Rei, who had still been wearing his suit from work. Nagisa frowned to himself and tried to dismiss the thought.

“It made him smile,” he pointed out, giving Ai's arm a squeeze. “And I doubt he'd get angry at me. He seems like one of those guys who looks all tough and mean on the outside but they're really a big teddy bear on the inside. Am I right?”

“I don't know if I'd call Sousuke a teddy bear...” Ai gazed off into the distance, in the direction that Sousuke's car had disappeared.

“But he's really a nice guy, right?” Nagisa bumped his shoulder against Ai's, causing him to stumble a little as they walked. Ai's response was a ten-minute lecture about how amazing Sousuke was, with a follow-up of all of Rin's good points in case Nagisa might have forgotten those. Nagisa kept smiling still, happy to see Ai so animated for a change.

They began their evening in a fast-food place where Nagisa drank milkshakes and wolfed down a burger, enthusiastically recounting to Ai the events of a movie he'd seen a few days ago on television. Across the table, Ai picked at his fries, looking like he'd never eaten anything like them before; Nagisa asked what types of food he usually preferred to eat, astonished when Ai explained that they had a cook who came to their house every day in the early hours, to make protein-rich meals specifically catered to Rin and Sousuke's dietary requirements. AP sufferers, he explained, only needed to eat once a day, sometimes less, and didn't react well to carb-heavy meals. As well as the cook, they also had a driver, a housekeeper and a gardener who took care of the household tasks that had to be done during daylight hours.

“There must be a lot of things they can't do,” Nagisa mused, toying with the straw in his cup. A stranger meeting Rin or Sousuke would have no real cause to assume they were sick at all, other than their unusually pale skin, but there must have been so many little ways that AP affected their lives, and since Nagisa's knowledge of the disease was limited to two years of high school science and a couple of leaflets from the IBB, he was naturally curious.

“Um, not really,” Ai countered. “They just do everything at night, or indoors.”

Nagisa tried to imagine what it must be like never knowing the feel of sunshine on his face, but decided the very idea of it was too sad to think about.

“Doesn't it bother you, only being awake at night?”

Ai looked at him like he'd asked if it bothered him only having two eyes.

“That's when Rin and Sousuke are awake,” Ai pointed out. “And you're awake at night.”

“Yeah, but I get days off from work when I can go out during the daytime.” Nagisa couldn't say for certain why he wanted to think that Ai was missing out by following Rin's nocturnal schedule. It wasn't like he wanted Ai to feel bad for it.

“Sometimes...” Ai huddled forward over the table, looking like he was about to confess some terrible secret, so Nagisa leaned in conspiratorially. “Sometimes, if I'm awake first, I go out into the garden before the sun goes down. It's nice. Being outside like that.”

“Ai-chan! You rebel!” He giggled into his hand, and Ai smiled sheepishly.

“But I love being with Rin and Sousuke,” Ai affirmed. “I don't think I could imagine being without them.”

Nagisa leaned one elbow on the table, propping his chin on his hand.

“What did you do before you met them?” he asked. It was kind of nice chatting with someone about stuff like this, instead of conversations about where to find the coffee or how much more expensive the vegetables were at the market down-town. Ai might not have been the best conversationalist, with his tendency to stutter and mumble and give odd answers to his questions, but Nagisa was learning that he could still have fun with him.

Across the table, Ai blinked rapidly, like he was struggling to remember anything from before he met Rin and Sousuke.

“I went to school,” he answered eventually, although he didn't sound entirely certain. “And I volunteered at the IBB.”

“You didn't go to college or anything?” Ai shook his head, looking slightly bewildered. “Really? You just finished school and moved in with Rin?” Ai nodded. “So...do you have plans? I mean, like, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“I want to help Rin.” The look of determination on his face would have been scary if it wasn't also adorable.

“How?”

“However I can.” Ai looked Nagisa dead in the eye, like there was nothing he'd ever been more certain about in his life.

When they were done with their meal, Ai led them out into the night, searching for a point where he could see up the hill on which Iwatobi was built. The area people referred to as the centre of town was really the area by the bay; businesses had built up around the fishing port with houses spreading up the hillside and beyond. Nagisa realised he'd never really paid attention to the way the whole town looked after dark, which he felt was a shame because the view was really something. Electric lights lit up the town like it was Christmas, with the brighter colours of stores and restaurants giving way to the fainter white of porchlights and lanterns in the residential area.

Ai showed Nagisa how he adjusted his camera to change the amount of light it let in, resulting in some rather beautiful photographs. He even let Nagisa take a few, until Nagisa found the flash button and startled Ai by turning the camera on him.

Once Ai was satisfied with the images he'd captured, they began to walk back through the town, occasionally stopping so that Ai could get a few pictures of things that caught his interest; a lantern hanging outside a closed store, a puddle streaked with oil that reflected all the colours of the rainbow, even an owl perched on a telegraph pole silhouetted by a streetlight. Although Nagisa didn't exactly have much to do, he found he still enjoyed himself. Ai could talk quite a bit about things that caught his attention, even if he did ramble and sound nervous at times, and Nagisa could fill any silence with more questions or observations. They were almost back at the post where they had met up when Ai, his eyes fixed resolutely on his camera, asked Nagisa, “What happened with you and Dr Ryuugazaki?”

Nagisa stopped dead in his tracks, causing Ai to turn and look back at him, a little alarmed.

“Did he say...Did Rin...How did you know?” He was certain he'd done a thorough job of distracting himself all evening.

“You haven't mentioned him once,” Ai replied, looking apologetic. “You used to talk about him a lot. Did something happen?”

Nagisa began walking again, with Ai falling into step beside him.

“Not so much...” He hadn't talked to anyone other than Makoto, and had so far avoided even thinking about the whole thing for more than a few minutes at a time. After several days, he was beginning to think it might actually be over, that whatever he and Rei had shared was really at an end, so he wasn't sure what he could actually say to Ai. “Ai-chan, what do you know about Rei?”

Beside him, Ai looked off into the distance, evidently considering the question.

“Well, he's been my doctor since I started living with Rei and Sousuke,” he began, like he was compiling a list. “He's known Rin for years, since he was at school, Rin helped him out a lot when he contracted AP - ”

“Wait, what?” Once again, Nagisa stopped walking.

“You didn't know?”

“I knew. I didn't know you knew. How did you know?”

He hurried to catch up with Ai, who hadn't stopped, apparently not seeing the big deal.

“He's known Rin longer than I have. And Rin tells me stuff.”

Nagisa found himself relaxing a little. If Ai knew, then perhaps he could talk things through with him; after all, Ai had experience of being in a relationship with two AP sufferers, so maybe he could answer any questions Nagisa could think of. If he had any. Which he didn't, because he'd told himself repeatedly that he didn't want a relationship with Rei.

“Is that why you're not talking about him anymore?” Ai asked, surprising Nagisa with his perception.

“It's...” He trailed off, unable to finish the cliched 'it's complicated'. It wasn't, really. He and Rei had been having fun together, until he found out Rei's secret, and then that was it. It didn't work out. He said as much to Ai, who frowned, seeming genuinely concerned for him. 

“Just because he has AP?”

“Not just,” he answered, trying to figure out how to explain things. “He didn't tell me about it. At all.”

“Maybe he was planning to.”

“But...I dunno. Isn't that the kind of thing you're supposed to be up-front about?”

“Did you tell him everything about yourself right away?” The way Ai said it made it sound like he was genuinely curious rather than accusatory, but Nagisa got what he was implying.

“This isn't a little thing you find out about in conversation, like being allergic to shellfish or having to sleep on a particular side of the bed,” he argued, knowing he sounded petulant but refusing to let it drop. “This is a big thing. Not being able to go outdoors in the daytime has a big impact on a relationship. And what do you even do about...you know...bedroom stuff?”

In the dark, it was tough to tell if Ai was blushing or just cold.

“Didn't you say you didn't want a serious relationship?” Ai asked, his voice quiet, almost apologetic. Nagisa scowled. “And, um, you can still do...stuff. Um. As long as you're careful.” Beside him, Ai began to slow his walk just a little, hanging behind by half a step so Nagisa couldn't see his face. “You mean you haven't...”

“No! We were just...dating. Hanging out.”

“And if you didn't know about Dr Ryuugazaki, then that must mean he hasn't...”

“Hasn't what?”

“Forget about it. I shouldn't have asked.” He skipped a couple of steps to catch up with Nagisa.

“No, you can ask. I mean, since you've told me stuff about you and Rin and Sousuke.” Truthfully, he wasn't entirely certain he was ready for all of Ai's questions, but this was the most talkative Ai had ever been in his company, and he didn't want to discourage that. He glanced sideways to see Ai tugging at loose button on the cuff of his coat, and wondered just what was going on in that odd little mind.

“I just meant...Dr Ryuugazaki hasn't...tasted you.” Ai had his gaze fixed on his feet, so he didn't notice Nagisa stop walking for a third time. When he did, he spun around, hands up in embarrassed surrender. “I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked, it's really none of my business.”

As realisation crept over Nagisa, he felt a sick little knot form in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly it was too much to look Ai in the face. Of course Nagisa knew what he was to Rin and Sousuke, but he'd never really given it much actual thought. The image of the two men feeding on Ai, mouths latched on to his pale skin, was far more than Nagisa could handle. The thought that Rei might want the same from him made his insides twist painfully, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut and squash the thought down before it overwhelmed him.

“Me and Rei-chan, we're not – we weren't like you and Rin and Sousuke,” he muttered. “I mean, if it works for you, sure, fine. I can see that they make you happy. But I couldn't do that.”

They set off walking again, both with their hands deep in their pockets to keep out the cold. After almost a minute of silence, Ai drew a deep breath, ready to speak again.

“When I'm with them, I know that I'm worth something. I'm important to them. My life has a purpose. I never had that before. It makes me feel secure.”

He trailed off. Nagisa couldn't think of anything to say in response. They walked in silence until they reached the spot by the bay where Sousuke's car was waiting for them. Sousuke himself was leaning against the car, looking out across the water. Even though they made no noise, Sousuke looked around as they approached, one corner of his mouth quirked into an almost-smile.

“You had a good time, Ai?” 

Aiichirou nodded; Sousuke seemed to sense that something was off, but he didn't comment on it.

Ai turned to Nagisa and mumbled a goodbye. After a moment's hesitation, Nagisa launched himself at Ai, arms around his neck in a tight hug. He felt Ai stumble and let out a startled puff of breath.

“Goodnight, Ai-chan,” he whispered into Ai's ear. “I had fun tonight.” He squeezed a little tighter, feeling Ai's hands pat faintly at his back before he finally let go. Then, before Ai could say anything, he waved and called a cheery “goodbye, Sou-chan,” and turned away to start walking back home. The cold wind from across the bay stung his cheeks, biting at his skin where tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.


	14. Nagisa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic aten't dead!
> 
> Oh gosh, I can't believe how long it's been since I updated this thing. I swear, I've started this chapter about five times, each in different ways with a different POV. It just wasn't happening. Between that, a nasty bout of depression and trying to get my craft business up and running (alongside my actual job!) I let this slide for too long. I do intend to keep going - I have the entire plot worked out (and have had since the start) and there's plenty more drama to come yet.

Three weeks. Three entire weeks without any word from Rei, and now Nagisa was on his way to the IBB for his donation. Deep in his stomach, he felt the familiar rumble of nerves, much like his first time at the centre when he had no idea what to expect apart from pain.

He checked in at reception, trying to work out if the friendly receptionist knew about him and Rei or if he was just being paranoid. A phlebotomist he didn't recognise appeared to excort him to the office where haemoglobin tests were done, running through the usual questions – are you well, have you eaten recently, any problems since your last donation? Nagisa answered automatically, only half paying attention as his finger was pricked and squeezed to extract a drop of blood. He watched through the small window which overlooked the main corridor, where porters and phlebotomists hurried back and forth. It seemed to be a busy day, and Nagisa recognised a couple of staff and even a donor he'd seen once or twice before. 

He told himself he wasn't looking for Rei. It'd be nice to see Makoto, he reasoned, or even Aiichirou. What did it matter if Rei was working? Besides, it was the weekend, and surely Rei had to take a day off at some point.

Belatedly, he realised the the phlebotomist was speaking to him. Nagisa blinked rapidly and shook his head, tyring to focus.

“...So let's get you started,” she was saying, and Nagisa hoped he hadn't missed anything important. She smiled and stood, so Nagisa followed suit, letting her lead him to the donor ward. There was only one vacant chair, which she wiped down and then patted for him to hop up into. He barely noticed as she swabbed his arm and wrapped the pressure cuff around it. The scratch of the needle caught him by surprise and he had to apologise for flinching, but once she'd taped the needle in place he settled back into his chair, feeling his face flush. She probably took him for a kid making his first donation, which was a stupid thing to get embarrassed about, but Nagisa hated looking childish.

Fortunately she didn't linger too long; once she was sure everything was okay, she drifted away to check on another donor, leaving Nagisa alone to listen to the drone of the little rocking tray that held his blood bag.

He closed his eyes and wondered if he could make himself invisible. Maybe, if he slowed down his breathing and kept perfectly still, he'd become one with the chair, and remain unnoticed by every one else in the ward.

Except he was supposed to keep clenching and unclenching his fist to keep the blood flowing. So much for keeping still. He huffed a breath that blew his hair up off his forehead, and shifted in his seat as much as the tubing would allow.

As usual, the donor ward was filled with the whir and beeps of machinery and the hushed conversation of the staff. Donors never seemed to talk much, except to answer questions. It meant that Nagisa could focus on recognising the voices of the staff he knew from previous visits. 

After a couple of minutes Makoto's light laughter filtered through the other voices, and Nagisa turned automatically to look as his friend headed his way. It was near-impossible to feel bad around Makoto; still, Nagisa found it took more effort than usual to rouse a smile. As if sensing his weariness, Makoto kept his voice soft when he greeted Nagisa.

“Haven't seen you for a while,” he mused as he checked the bag that was steadily filling beside Nagisa's chair.  
“Well, you know me, busy busy busy!” Nagisa joked, raising a weak laugh. Makoto wasn't fooled.

“You know, you can call me whenever, even if it's just to check in. I don't mind.” Makoto made a note on a chart he'd been carrying, before looking up at Nagisa from under his hair. It had grown noticeably longer since Nagisa had seen him last. There were dark circles under his eyes too, and his scrubs were wrinkled in places, like they'd been pressed in a hurry.

Nagisa sighed and shifted in his seat.

“What's to talk about?” It was childish, but he couldn't help it. “There's nothing going on. What about you, Makoto? Anything new?” He wanted to wince at his own painful attempt to change the subject.

“Well, I've been putting in a lot of extra hours lately.” Makoto gave him a pointed look before continuing. “Dr Ryuugazaki's cut his hours. We haven't seen much of him around the centre.”

“Must be tough on you and Haru,” he mumbled. Makoto nodded.

“Haru's working a lot lately, so I think he appreciates having time to himself. But yeah, it's hard not getting to see someone who's important to you.”

Before Nagisa could reply, there was an insistent beeping from the machinery attached to his chair. Makoto immediately set to sealing and labelling his blood bag, quickly working through the routine of removing and disposing of the needle and bandaging Nagisa's arm. Nagisa let him work without interruption, trying to shake the feeling that he owed Makoto an apology for something.

Eventually he was ready to move, and Makoto carefully guided him out to the rest area, carrying his jacket and bag for him. When he was seated with a juice box and chocolate bar, Makoto sat in the chair beside him, ostensibly checking through Nagisa's donor chart.

“Dr Ryuugazaki's been talking about introducing some kind of donor leave-of-absence scheme for long-time donors,” he announced, sounding perfectly casual about it. “So if someone needs to miss a couple of donations, they can take time off without it affecting their payments.” 

“Sounds good.” Nagisa focused on eating his chocolate. 

“He suggested running a focus group to see if it's worth taking it to the board.” Nagisa nodded and took a sip of his juice. “Maybe your dad might be interested in taking part.” He shrugged. “Do you think he'd mind if I put his name forward?”

“You're just trying to get me to talk to Rei-chan.”

“Is it working?”

“I don't want to talk to him.”

“I don't believe you.”

Nagisa bit back a sigh. Getting mad at Makoto was like getting mad at a Labrador that wanted to go walkies in the rain. There was no nice way to tell him to back off.

“Matsuoka-san made him take the time off, you know,” Makoto whispered, leaning in so that the other staff couldn't hear. “He was working around the clock, wouldn't take a day off. And now we barely see him.”

Struggling to swallow his last bite, Nagisa spluttered, “Do you think it's my fault?” He didn't want to feel guilty, but the thought of Rei working so much he made himself sick still tugged painfully at his heart. 

Makoto held up a hand in protest. 

“No, no, that's not what I meant. But Dr Ryuugazaki's not himself, and you're not exactly your usual self either, so it seems to me that being apart made both of you unhappy. So maybe seeing each other again wouldn't really make things worse.”

Before Nagisa could protest, Makoto patted his knee, smiled, and got up to walk away, quickly striking up a conversation with a porter who happened to be passing. Nagisa was left alone to finish his drink and dispose of his chocolate wrapper.

He took his time making his way back to reception. The thought of leaving without seeing Rei at all didn't exactly fill him with joy; he'd got himself so worked up that it'd be disappointing if nothing actually happened. Still, he had made it as far as reception without incident, so it looked like that was that.

The receptionist was halfway through setting up his next appointment when he stopped and checked Nagisa's file on the computer.

“Hazuki Nagisa, right?” he asked. Nagisa nodded, feeling a faint hint of apprehension. “There's a note here on your file. Says I'm supposed to let the director know when you're done with your session.” He frowned, then seemed to catch on that Nagisa was surprised and flashed him a smile. “I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.”

Still, as the receptionist picked up the telephone and held a quick and quiet conversation with someone else, he couldn't help but imagine a dozen different worst-case scenarios: Rei was having him transferred to another donor centre; Rei was terminating his donations and he would lose his payments; Rin had found out about their relationship and fired Rei...

“Dr Ryuugazaki would like to see you in his office,” the receptionist told him, trying to sound cheerful. “Would you like me to call a porter to escort you?”

Nagisa shook his head.

“I know where it is.”

As he walked past the donor ward once more, he caught sight of Makoto sitting beside a donor's chair. It was so tempting to run back in there, to grab on to Makoto and demand a reassuring word or even a hand to hold. But Makoto was working, smiling his wonderful smile at a young woman around Nagisa's age who looked terrified of the equipment Makoto was preparing. Probably her first visit, he reasoned, so the last thing she needed was some silly boy bursting in and rambling about being summoned to the director's office.

No, he could be mature about this. He could face Rei again, and accept whatever it was Rei needed to tell him.

Taking a deep breath, Nagisa scowled at his reflection in the shiny nameplate on Rei's office door, before reaching up to knock.

There was a brief pause before Rei's voice called for him to come in, as if Rei hadn't been expecting him.

When Nagisa cautiously pushed the door open, Rei was half out of his seat, frozen in place like he couldn't decide where he needed to be. Nagisa found himself caught in the same predicament, hand still on the doorknob, unsure whether to remain standing, cross to the desk or take a seat somewhere. His eyes flicked to the examination bench he'd sat on the first time he went into Rei's office, and he felt a cold rush of dread.

As if reading his mind, Rei stood and moved to the opposite side of his office, drawing Nagisa's attention away from the bench.

Seconds passed by as they each seemed to wait for the other to speak first. Nagisa felt sweat puddle at the small of his back, hating the silence but unsure of how to break it.

Rei cracked first.

“Nagisa-kun...” He nudged his glasses further up the bridge of his nose; when he removed his hand, his gaze remained fixed on the floor. “I owe you an apology.”

Nagisa felt his throat tighten, and his mouth pull downwards into a scowl.

“You _owe_ me? That's all?”

As if startled by the unexpected anger in Nagisa's voice, Rei flinched a little, and cleared his throat before speaking again.

“No, please, let me start again.” Nagisa folded his arms and huffed. “I want to apologise. Because I am truly sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I'm sorry you saw...what you saw.” Rei cast his eyes up to the ceiling, then over at the examination bench. “I'm sorry I never told you about...about my condition. And I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you before now.”

Desperately, Nagisa tried to hold on to his anger. He hadn't expected Rei to jump straight to apologising; if he knew anything about Rei, it was that he was rarely one to get straight to the point.

“Why is this such a big deal?” he blurted out, wishing he had taken the time to phrase it better, but Rei had caught him off-guard. “I mean, we said things weren't going to get serious between us. This is only a big deal if we're planning to be, you know, forever. We said we were just having fun together.”

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say. Rei's face dropped like he'd just been something terrible. After a moment he steeled his expression into something harder, but Nagisa had seen enough to know that Rei was more distressed than he would let on.

“Is that all we were?” His voice was low and even, and anyone who didn't know him could easily believe he wasn't the least bit upset.

“We said!” Nagisa countered. “We said it was just for now. You didn't want love, remember?”

“Then why have I missed you so much?”

The crack in Rei's emotionless facade was brief, but long and loud enough to sting. “I thought I was happy before,” he continued, voice more or less steady. “I thought my work was enough. It _was_ enough. Until you dragged me out and took me for coffee, and gave me things I didn't think that I could have.” Rei took a hesitant step towards him, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides. “You made me happy. I want that back. What do I have to do to get that back?”

Nagisa shook his head, hands raised defensively. 

“No!”

“No?”

“I don't want that responsibility,” he protested. “I can't give you anything, Rei-chan. I was selfish. I liked you 'cause you made me smile, and you were mine. I have my job, and I have my family, and they're my responsibilities, and you were the one thing I did for me.” He sniffed, and shook his head. “So don't make me responsible for you too.”

Across the room, Rei faltered, mouth half open like he'd been frozen mid-sentence. Nagisa watches as he seemed to correct whatever he'd been about to say.

“That's not...I don't...” He scowled, more at his aborted attempts to speak than at Nagisa. “You don't have to do anything. Nagisa-kun, you started this, it's true, but I messed it up. I'm just asking for the chance to fix it. You already made me happy. I want to do the same for you.”

Unsure how to react, Nagisa watched him warily.

“Is it...” Rei pursed his lips, looking as though he was still trying to process the thought he was already voicing. “Is it possible that we could, perhaps, start over?”

Nagisa looked up at him.

“Like, pretend it didn't happen?”

“No!” Rei shook his head. “I mean, start...dating again. But with everything out in the open, so to speak. Not forever. For now. But with a view to next month, and maybe the month after. A rolling contract, if you will.” As Nagisa worked the idea around in his head, Rei stepped forward and held out a hand. “Hello, Nagisa-kun. My name is Ryuugazaki Rei. I'm the director here at the IBB. I have...I have Advanced Porphyria. And I'd like to take you out for dinner some time. Or breakfast. Whatever works for you.”

Even as Rei drew himself up to his full height and offered his hand for Nagisa to shake, Nagisa couldn't help thinking that somehow it made Rei look young, barely out of adolescence; some strange blend of fragile hope and earnestness. It filled Nagisa with an unexpected feeling of protectiveness, an urge to tell Rei that he wasn't alone, and didn't have to hid from anyone.

When he took Rei's hand, it was reassuringly warm.

“Hi, Rei-chan! I'm Nagisa. I like ice cream and scary movies. Let's have fun together!”

Later, Rei escorted him back to reception, a hand at Nagisa's back the entire way. If he noticed the surprised stares of the staff they passed, he didn't show any concern.

At the door, Rei promised to call him to set up a date. Nagisa thanked him, and resisted the urge to look over at the receptionist who was looking everywhere but at them. Instead he went up on tip-toe to meet Rei half-way when he leaned in to give Nagisa a quick, mostly-chaste kiss, before Nagisa waved him goodbye and set off back home.


End file.
